Random IMs

Acronyms can be Scary

2008-03-11T23:20:00.000-04:00

Girl whose Identity should be protected: how you livin?
Runner of Blog: not too bad
Girl whose Identity should be protected: same
Girl whose Identity should be protected: just tired
Girl whose Identity should be protected: have the mother in law staying with me tonight
Girl whose Identity should be protected: she wants to hang out
Runner of Blog: hahahah nice
Girl whose Identity should be protected: yeah its exactly what im looking forward to when im tired and bitchy from pmsing
Runner of Blog: our relationship isn't there
Girl whose Identity should be protected: does the term pms scare you?
Girl whose Identity should be protected: they're letters for god sake
Runner of Blog: THEY ARE NOT JUST LETTERS
Runner of Blog: thats like saying - USA - are just letters
Runner of Blog: or WMD
Runner of Blog: or TNT
Runner of Blog: they stand for something
Runner of Blog: something bigger than the letters - something scarier
Girl whose Identity should be protected: OMG
Runner of Blog: you have known me for approximately 15 years
Runner of Blog: is this conversation a shock to you
Girl whose Identity should be protected: STD
Girl whose Identity should be protected: PMS
Runner of Blog: ooo STD is a good one
Runner of Blog: AIDS
Runner of Blog: just letters!?? My ass
Girl whose Identity should be protected: the HIV
Girl whose Identity should be protected: RIP
Girl whose Identity should be protected: IRS
Girl whose Identity should be protected: am i really freaking you out now?
Runner of Blog: in conclusion PMS sucks

More evidence against Life Insurance Queen

2008-03-06T23:15:00.000-05:00

Runner of Blog: what up buddy
Life Insurance Queen: i just saw the most amazing thing
Runner of Blog: midget fucking a porn star?
Life Insurance Queen: this 11 year old chinese kid on the Ellen Degeneres show just played the hardest song on the most advanced level of guitar hero, and just kicked its ass
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
Runner of Blog: stop watching ellen
Runner of Blog: fag

Please provide a witty title in the comments section

2008-03-05T23:04:00.000-05:00

Runner of Blog: i'll be out at 830 to 930 i think, but home after that and before that
Glass Selling Jew: sounds kinda shady - what exactly will you be doing between 830 and 930?
Runner of Blog: krav maga
Glass Selling Jew: ahh
Glass Selling Jew: ok ok
Runner of Blog: hahahah
Runner of Blog: thats ok?
Glass Selling Jew: i guess
Runner of Blog: cause its Iserali? huh
Glass Selling Jew: yes
Glass Selling Jew: jews are smart
Glass Selling Jew: and they kick ass
Glass Selling Jew: ive always told u that u were pretty much a jew
Glass Selling Jew: this is, like exhibit Q
Runner of Blog: lol
Runner of Blog: what is exhibit F?
Glass Selling Jew: lawyer
Runner of Blog: Exhibit L?
Glass Selling Jew: u live in Syosset
Runner of Blog: fuck
Runner of Blog: c?
Glass Selling Jew: shitload of Jewish friends
Runner of Blog: B?
Glass Selling Jew: u deal in wealth preservation
Glass Selling Jew: ie- handling ppls money
Runner of Blog: Damn it
Runner of Blog: I am going to have to oppose your argument
Runner of Blog: Exhibit "A" certain atomoical features (I mean Size but he didn't get it)
Runner of Blog: Exhibit "B" Fan of jesus
Glass Selling Jew: im pretty sure that Evan is even a Jewish name
Glass Selling Jew: having your foreskin does make u less Jewish, ur overwhelming compensation in all other areas make up for it
Glass Selling Jew: (this is an assumption)
Glass Selling Jew: lol
Runner of Blog: lol
Runner of Blog: i don't have foreskin! i was talking about size weirdo
Glass Selling Jew: haha ok
Glass Selling Jew: so u were circumcised
Glass Selling Jew: that would actually be exhibit A
Runner of Blog: most people are circumcised
Glass Selling Jew: Really? I think this just further tips the scales toward Jewdom

Who is better than Wanna Be Doctor? Be true to thyself

2008-02-21T22:58:00.003-05:00

Runner of Blog: what up tough guy
Wanna be Doctor: sup tough guy - whats the dillio
Runner of Blog: nothing crazy just living
Wanna be Doctor: not bad
Wanna be Doctor: whats new
Runner of Blog: somoeone's gotta keep the rich richer
Wanna be Doctor: ur fighting the good fight
Wanna be Doctor: my man
Wanna be Doctor: keep it going
Runner of Blog: Someone has to stand up for the silent minority
Wanna be Doctor: tis true
Runner of Blog: if not me? then who? someone who will give the government more money at death! I THINK NOT
Runner of Blog: i can't live with that on my conscious
Wanna be Doctor: a true humanitarian - thats all i can say
Runner of Blog: Thanks buddy
Runner of Blog: similarly, I am sure thats why you are going into rehab medicine
Wanna be Doctor: very true, the weakest members of society i need to watch over them
Wanna be Doctor: faughn them back to civilization
Runner of Blog: not so you can selfishly fulfill your desire to help that poor illegal immigrant worker who has fallen, but rather you selflessly put yourself on the line to help those housewives who slipped on a ptach of ice and need to be massaged back to health
Wanna be Doctor: add quality to their life
Runner of Blog: We Rule
Wanna be Doctor: we do, don't we
Wanna be Doctor: the difference is one day i hope to use your services, while i hope that u never need mine

Tall Blonde has daddy issues

2008-02-20T17:03:00.003-05:00

Tall Blonde from Home: i remember the day my dad found the funnel i made
Tall Blonde from Home: he looked so pissed
Tall Blonde from Home: and then he turns and says....
Tall Blonde from Home: ((in a great big grissly bear voice)) "youre not thinking of drinking my good beer (that you stole) out of that thing...are you? Cause that would be wasting good beer)
Tall Blonde from Home: coolest dad comment ever
Runner of Blog: WOW
Tall Blonde from Home: it was classic really
Runner of Blog: that is amazing, but i am not sure it was good as when my dad told me my mom was greek by injection
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahahahahah[
Runner of Blog: akward
Tall Blonde from Home: no kidding
Tall Blonde from Home: ive had awkward moment with papa shigo too
Tall Blonde from Home: i was so wasted once that i took a shower with my clothes on...and proceed to step out and get my foot stuck in the toliet bowl
Tall Blonde from Home: and jen was reacting so loud that my dad came up to see what was wrong and poor papa shigo had to pull my foot out of the toliet
Tall Blonde from Home: and just looks and me and says "we wont be telling your mother about this...ok?"

Glass Selling Jew - Not a Jew???

2008-02-20T17:02:00.003-05:00

Runner of Blog: http://www.retrojunk.com/details_articles/2733/
Glass Selling Jew: that link u sent isnt loading
Glass Selling Jew: i keep tryin to click it
Runner of Blog: i hate you then
Glass Selling Jew: u were adopted
Glass Selling Jew: the thought of u makes me want to punch babies in the throat
Glass Selling Jew: still not workin homey
Runner of Blog: your fault
Glass Selling Jew: it was probably working b4 u went to the page and now it isnt
Glass Selling Jew: that means u broke it
Glass Selling Jew: cockboy
Runner of Blog: you broke it cause you don't love jesus
Glass Selling Jew: jesus was a jew
Runner of Blog: you killed him and thats why the website won't work
Glass Selling Jew: anyone worth anything knows that scientology is the only one true religion, and that all the other ones are just bs
Glass Selling Jew: im still a level 4 thetan
Glass Selling Jew: im trying to make it to a level 7
Glass Selling Jew: im sooo close i can feel it
Glass Selling Jew: almost fully cleanse
Glass Selling Jew: they say for another $86,000 i should be fully clear
Runner of Blog: this got really weird
Glass Selling Jew: i take it that u do not share my religious beliefs
Glass Selling Jew: you will see the light

Did you take your vitamins?

2008-02-20T16:58:00.004-05:00

Fraternity Brother #1: whered you go buddy

Runner of Blog: got busy sorry - nothing against you

Fraternity Brother #1: its ok- its only hurt feelings, no worries

Runner of Blog: hahahhaha none for me to worry about

Runner of Blog: i was pissing today and got pissed off cause the color of my urine was clear

Runner of Blog: i took a multi vitamin and when it doesn't change colors i get pissed cause i figure its not working

Fraternity Brother #1: im the oppositie, i get angry when its yellow, but now i see your anger

Runner of Blog: very frustrating

Next Day

Runner of Blog: PISS WAS BRIGHT YELLOW MOTHER FUCKER

Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahaha, mine was as clear as Maine spring

Runner of Blog: bet you didn't you take your multivitamin?

26 Years Old does not mean you know how to take a piss

2008-02-13T22:51:00.004-05:00

Fraternity Brother #1: what up wasnt paying attention today at work while I pissed and got it on my shirt
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAH really?
Fraternity Brother #1: yeah, i stink - literally
Runner of Blog: thats amazing...was it a splash back situation? or literally pissed on your hanging shirt
Fraternity Brother #1: just the shirt hanging down lower then i thought, and it took me a second to realize it
Runner of Blog: white shirt? is it yellow now
Fraternity Brother #1: blue shirt, it was a clear water piss, so ill live
Runner of Blog: considering my "specialness" whent it comes to pissing and drinking I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT
Fraternity Brother #1: hahhahahahaha never?
Runner of Blog: well none that i can remember

Another installment of Weird Friend

2008-02-13T22:48:00.002-05:00

Weird Friend who only signs online to make of me is online

Weird Friend who only signs online to make of me: you little shit you

Weird Friend who only signs online to make of me is offline

This was in the span of 1 min.

ABORTION! ABORTION!..ummm I mean ABORT ABORT ABORT!

2008-02-13T22:39:00.005-05:00

Runner of Blog: alright think we are going to rock out "X" for bachelor party
Smooth as Sandpaper: ok cool
Runner of Blog: but you aren't invited
Smooth as Sandpaper: thas fine, i wasn't coming to your wedding anyway -i was just using u as an excuse to go to vegas
Runner of Blog: wow thats fucked up
Smooth as Sandpaper: thas fucked up? u telling me that im not invited isn't?
Runner of Blog: because you will always be invited to the wedding regardless of losing the invite to the bachelor party
Smooth as Sandpaper: this is a miserable conversation
Runner of Blog: damn it you are right - its going no where
Runner of Blog: maybe we can talk again later
Runner of Blog: although its pretty mature that we can accept that
Smooth as Sandpaper: maybe, hopefully it is a happier conversation
Runner of Blog: although its pretty mature that we can accept that the conversation sucked
Runner of Blog: I am downright impressed with us
Runner of Blog: just as easy could have turned into me calling you a douchebag
Smooth as Sandpaper: and me calling you a dirty goatfucker
Runner of Blog: but we are lucky it didn't go there
Smooth as Sandpaper: yes we are

I Love Garlic Powder

2008-02-11T22:20:00.000-05:00

Fraternity Brother #1: how was the weekend?
Runner of Blog: good...fun
Fraternity Brother #1: end up getting sloppy?
(I went to visit the Fiance's Sister for her Boyfriend's birthday)
Runner of Blog: a little bit
Runner of Blog: we got an entire pie of pizza on the way home - i stole a bowl of garlic powder - came out from the pizza place running with a full bowl and their spoon
Runner of Blog: woke up on the gf's sister's couch fully clothed
Fraternity Brother #1: by day youre a fancy lawyer working with high priced clients and fancy man planning a wedding, by night youre a garlic powder stealing degenerate
Runner of Blog: When i woke up I looked in the pizza box there were 3 slices left, so I asked everyone if they happen to have any....
Runner of Blog: They said no...but i am hoping they were lying
Fraternity Brother #1: Probably not

A little insight into my politics

2008-02-05T22:15:00.000-05:00

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer , and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1.The sixth would pay $3.The seventh would pay $7.The eighth would pay $12.The ninth would pay $18.The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).The se venth now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. "I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!""Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than me!""That's true" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!" "Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill! And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is exactly how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

I have no idea who Tall Blonde From Home is

2008-01-12T21:59:00.000-05:00

Tall Blonde From Home: the neighbors will think im wicked intellectual

Runner of Blog: F U

Runner of Blog: who the hell do you think you are using wicked in a conversation

Runner of Blog: YOU ARE FROM NEW YORK

Tall Blonde From Home: hahhahahahah

Runner of Blog: MY LORD I am so dissapointed in you

Tall Blonde From Home: ive adopted my foreign tongue

Tall Blonde From Home: well i have to admit it was hard to let go of, but dropping FUCKEN in business meetings is just not affective

Tall Blonde From Home: i figure wicked is a distance more polite cousin

Tall Blonde From Home has some real problems with those that aren't as tall as her

2008-01-02T21:52:00.000-05:00

Tall Blonde From Home: so somehow on nye i ended up with a massive bruise on my thigh
Tall Blonde From Home: it even hurts when i walk
Tall Blonde From Home: i hate when i dont remember those tihngs happening
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHAH those are the worst
Runner of Blog: cause you question who you are or think you are
Tall Blonde From Home: oh totally or where i was for that matter
Tall Blonde From Home: im pretty sure that i was standing up most of the night, so unless i walked into a piece of furniture...im totally stumped
Runner of Blog: maybe some midget came in and fucking jumped kicked your ass
Tall Blonde From Home: yeah....thats what happened
Tall Blonde From Home: it must have been the same midgit thta broke one of my good champagne glasses
Runner of Blog: son of a bitch small person
Tall Blonde From Home: i hate small people
Tall Blonde From Home: what a waste of sperm
Runner of Blog: WOW
Tall Blonde From Home: yeah i went there
Runner of Blog: incredible

My buddy needs a new his priorities checked!

2008-01-02T20:30:00.002-05:00

Life Insurance Queen: so i got a late present last night in the mail - to me...from me
Runner of Blog: russian mail order bride?
Life Insurance Queen: hahah almost better
Runner of Blog: REALLY?!
Life Insurance Queen: new blackberry curve
Runner of Blog: ummmm thats better?
Life Insurance Queen: i said ALMOST
Runner of Blog: really? almost
Life Insurance Queen: well i weighed out the pros and cons to everything....upsides - curve is just fuckin cool v. having a permanent sex slave....downsides - curve can break v. bride can give me climidia
Runner of Blog: SEX SLAVE WINS you idiot
Life Insurance Queen: yes, moron....that's why curve ALMOST won....not by a stretch though
Life Insurance Queen: lemme ask you this - if i were to say, wii or ps3...how would that fair?
Runner of Blog: is THE Fiance ok with the mail order bride?
Life Insurance Queen: maybe??
Runner of Blog: well that makes a HUGE difference in my analysis
Runner of Blog: if Jen is ok with me having a sex slave and not giving me shit about a random russian broad in the closet there would be a different analysis
Life Insurance Queen: well you completely ruined all excitement i had about this blackberryLife
Insurance Queen: im going to go curl up into a ball and play brickbreaker
Runner of Blog: yeah sounds much better than having sex and then beating your russian mail order chick
Life Insurance Queen: THAT'S IT!, I'm throwing this piece of shit in the garbage!!!!!!
Runner of Blog: first make a call
Runner of Blog: to RUSSIA

DAYS LATER
Life Insurance Queen: so i returned the curve already...svetlana will be arriving next tuesday

Don't Question Runner of Blog

2007-10-17T22:33:00.001-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: youre not gonna do one of those joint parties are you? like where you and your group go to vegas, but the Fiance and her group also go to vegas at the sametime
Runner of Blog: come on dude
Fraternity Brother #1: GF's boss (a chick) who is getting hitched this weekend, her and her fiance did that. i told him he was a giant fruit
Runner of Blog: does that even sound like me
Fraternity Brother #1: i had to check
Runner of Blog: come on dude
Fraternity Brother #1: ok i apologize for even asking. but people do weird shit when it comes to bachelor parties
Runner of Blog: the only weird thing i'll be doing - is being awesome
Fraternity Brother #1: thats what i want to hear

Fraternity Brother's Girlfriend is Skating on thin Ice

2007-10-17T22:28:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: the woman went to the grocery store on sunday while i was driving back from nj, so i rattled off some shit i wanted for dinner, cause she isnt home any of the nights this week, so im on my own. so one of the things i wanted was sausages, 1. to make a meat sauce, 2. to make sausage and peppers
Fraternity Brother #1: and what does she bring home, organic vegan sausage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Runner of Blog: VEGAN
Runner of Blog: that fucking bitch
Runner of Blog: i am so angry with her
Fraternity Brother #1: how do you think i felt..........meatless sausage, i mean do the fucking math on that
Fraternity Brother #1: it cant be good, like doesnt even have a chance at being good
Runner of Blog: that is so fucking nasty
Runner of Blog: and selfish of her
Fraternity Brother #1: and shes like im just tryen to help you be healthy......and thats fine, thats nice i appreciate it. but if you want me to be healthy get a couple of apples, dont get me meatless meat

I HATE Fraternity Brother #1

2007-10-11T22:49:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog: Future Father in Law made fun that I always bring cake to tailgating. So I explained to him "Its a personal issue - I am willing to accept that I have a problem, but when you take a bite of an oreo cake and wash it down with some ice cold beer, before 12pm...you'll see!"
Fraternity Brother #1: you bring cake to a tailgate? fag
Runner of Blog: dude i've been doing it for years
Fraternity Brother #1: so youve been gay for years, thats cool
Runner of Blog: WOW
Runner of Blog: oreo cake and beer! what could be better?
Fraternity Brother #1: if brought by a woman, fine whatever. but not by a dude
Runner of Blog: dessert after bbq
Fraternity Brother #1: quite frankly if youre gonna do a desert after a bbq it should be a deepfried twinkie or a deep fried oreo
Fraternity Brother #1: not a cake
Fraternity Brother #1: do you make the cake with a cute apron?
Runner of Blog: fuck you - I buy it
Fraternity Brother #1: i can picture you prancing up to the tailgate, with a cake in a box holding it by those fruity strings they wrap around a bakery box
Fraternity Brother #1: stick to what youre good at and bring beer
Runner of Blog: but i do bring beer also
Fraternity Brother #1: you're so hurt right now, arent you?
Runner of Blog: yes i am
Fraternity Brother #1: by beer do you mean wine coolers?
Fraternity Brother #1: im not dissing cake, cake is great. but for it to be a guys contribution at a tailgate, eh
Runner of Blog: u act like thats all i eat - we have burgers, steak, hot dogs, and sometimes sausage
Runner of Blog: lots and lots of beer
Fraternity Brother #1: im not doubting your ability to consume the deliciousness that is tailgate food, or even questioning the amount of beer you can drink (which id never do)
Fraternity Brother #1: what i am saying is that when it comes to a tailgate, everyone brings something. the last thing id do if i was apart of a tailgate is jump up and say, "ill bring the cake!'
Fraternity Brother #1: fuck, if all the meats and rolls and beer was accounted for, then id rather bring 70 bags of dorritos, but never would i volunteer cake
Fraternity Brother #1: let me take you through an exchange shannon and i had when planning a tailgate for jimmy buffett......
Fraternity Brother #1: Fraternity Brother #1's gf: "What should we have for desert? Fraternity Brother #1 aka Man: i dont give a shit. more beer?

Lets Delve deeper into the psyche of Fraternity Brother #1

2007-10-04T23:20:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: my mother was tellen me a story from when i was in grade school.....

Fraternity Brother #1: the teacher asked everyone what they wanted to be when they grew up, and everyone said doctor, lawyer, teacher something like that....

Fraternity Brother #1: my answer was, 'i wanted to be a hammock sailsmen in key west'..... and the teacher was concerned that i didnt have the aspirations of others so my mom had to be brought in for a conference

Fraternity Brother #1: to this day my mom doesnt understand where at the young age i had learned about key west, but i was an odd kid

Fraternity Brother #1: her favorite story to tell of me is from kindgergarden another parent teacher conference that was called. we were all coloring in class, and i put my crayons down. and walked over to her desk and took her newspaper and sat down and started looking at it. clearly i didnt know how to read at the age of 5, but i was just looking at it.....

Fraternity Brother #1: the teacher came over and asked what i was doing and why wasnt i coloring. and she said i put the paper down in a huff, like she was bothering me and said, 'lets be honest. coloring and staying the line won't help me get in a good college. clearly more can be learned from reading a newspaper then from coloring goofy.' and i picked the paper up and started reading/looking at it.

Fraternity Brother #1: so my mom had to be brought in because i wasnt following the rest of the class

Fraternity Brother #1: very odd, i think it came from a lot of tv watching

Runner of Blog: I am feeling the movie cocktail was in there some where

Fraternity Brother #1: it was, loved that movie as a kid - totally, i remember watching that flick, commando, rambo, and the terminator over and over as a kid

Runner of Blog: i hope your parents put more love into your sister

Welcome Sensitive Guido Guy

2007-10-04T23:12:00.000-04:00

Sensitive Guido Guy: what is your percentage now - avin is in (Referring to my Homecoming Appearance despite my advanced age)

Runner of Blog: i am 100% - because "Buddy not on blog yet" is going to come with me

Sensitive Guido Guy: thats serious

Runner of Blog: and if it sucks he'll drive me home or drive me to a location that doesn't suck

Sensitive Guido Guy: it probably will so lets get wasted quick

Sensitive Guido Guy: u always get chauffered around - how do you do that? your like miss daisy

Runner of Blog: hahahaha

Sensitive Guido Guy: or a mob gangster

Runner of Blog: because people know that i will sit home or sleep on a curb before driving home drunk

Sensitive Guido Guy: you should have buddy drive you in a black lincoln and sit in the back

Runner of Blog: and scream racist things at buddy?

Sensitive Guido Guy: hahahah

MUCH LATER

Runner of Blog: hahahahaha - if it does suck you can leave with me and crash at my condo

Sensitive Guido Guy: that soundsed semi gay

Runner of Blog: really? i meant it in the straightest way

Sensitive Guido Guy: hahah

Runner of Blog: i have 2 different rooms with 2 different beds or 3 walk in closets you can sleep in

Runner of Blog: you could theoretically have 3 doors between us that I would have open up before I cuddled with you

Sensitive Guido Guy: wow

Should I be wondering about Smooth

2007-10-02T16:03:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog: why did u go to the ghetto
Smooth as Sandpaper: i needed 2 get my new cable box
Runner of Blog: how'd it work out? get raped?
Smooth as Sandpaper: i did notice this 1 thug staring at my ass as i wuz walking, but i guess he got over it
Runner of Blog: thats great
Smooth as Sandpaper: i don't kno if i should b happy that he didn't try 2 rape me, or sad at the fact that my ass wasn't good enough 4 him
Smooth as Sandpaper: haha
Runner of Blog: i was thinking that exact same thing, but didn't want the conversation to get weird
Smooth as Sandpaper: most of sour conversations do get weird
Smooth as Sandpaper: so y stop now
Runner of Blog: its true - i bet your jeans weren't tight enough
Smooth as Sandpaper: sux

Tall Blonde From Home is a Hick

2007-09-13T20:48:00.000-04:00

Tall Blonde From Home: so did i tell you that our neighbors want to get alpacas???
Runner of Blog: alpacas? what is that
Tall Blonde From Home: theyre like llamas
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAH serious?
Tall Blonde From Home: serious as a hearattack
Tall Blonde From Home: people are effing nuts
Runner of Blog: that is incredible
Runner of Blog: do they make noise? can you ride them!?!?!
Tall Blonde From Home: I think so
Runner of Blog: cause that would be fucking bad ass
Runner of Blog: if you could ride around your property
Tall Blonde From Home: its going to play out like napolean dynamite
Tall Blonde From Home: "tina eat your ham"
Runner of Blog: hahaha imagine coming home
Runner of Blog: and he is riding the fucking thing
Runner of Blog: all over you hard
Tall Blonde From Home: hahahaha
Runner of Blog: yard
Runner of Blog: larry smacking its ass to go faster
Tall Blonde From Home: oyy the vision of that is just terrible
Tall Blonde From Home: he needs to be wearing his john deere hat while riding too
Runner of Blog: hahahahahahaha
Runner of Blog: straw hanging out of his mouth
Tall Blonde From Home: natty ice in hand
Tall Blonde From Home: beef jerky hanging out of his pocket
Runner of Blog: hjahhahahahahha with natty ice
Tall Blonde From Home: and it needs to be piss warm

Weird Friend AGAIN

2007-09-13T20:45:00.001-04:00

Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: WHY DO YOU LOVE BALLS SO MUCH
Weird Friend is offline

Random Comments about a great show - Biggest Loser

2007-09-13T11:51:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog is a HUGE (pun intended) fan of the Biggest Loser - probably one of the best TV Shows ever thought of....

So I shared my thoughts with the usual crowd and got their thoughts:

Explanation of where this entry came from:

Runner of Blog: i have the fatty show tonight, so pumped

Runner of Blog: i love watching them cry and blubber

Fraternity Brother #1: whats the fatty show?

Runner of Blog: Biggest Loser

Fraternity Brother #1: hahahaha, i never have watched it

Runner of Blog: WATCH IT TONIGHT

Fraternity Brother #1: eh, im not big on reality tv

Runner of Blog: dude they cry about how hard it is to be fat

Runner of Blog: its freaking awesome and then those that kicked off - you know are doomed to be fat

Random Comments:

Fraternity Brother #1: that part i would love, 'you dont understand it's a disease!' sob sob sob 'at least when youre a drug addict you can stop altogether, but with food you still need it to live' sob sob sob

Runner of Blog: HOLY SHIT - i heard that like 40 times last season
Runner of Blog: they all blubber together
Runner of Blog: its awesome
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahahahahaha thats what true fatties are, whining excuse makers
Fraternity Brother #1: how bout this, heres my diet plan for them, dont eat a box of twinkies in a sitting
Fraternity Brother #1: i love when they claim they didnt know fast food could be so bad for you
Fraternity Brother #1: you mean a bucket of fried chicken for dinner can make me gain weight? liar!

Tall Blonde from Home: this is a genetic condition and has nothing to do with the two double whoppers i polished off for breakfast damn it

Runner of Blog: Blame their emotional difficulty on their fat ass - not the box of cookies they just finished

Tall Blonde from Home: im saving up for gastric bypass...so in the mean time why dont you work on passing me some fudge brownies biatch

My friends understand me!

2007-09-13T11:42:00.000-04:00

Tall Blonde Friend from Home: so whats on the agenda for the weekend
Runner of Blog: gf is going to pa so I think i am going to try and stay in on friday
Runner of Blog: i will most likely fail
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: hahha - yeah i would have to vote you on our post college superlative....most likely to drink even though i say im quitting
Runner of Blog: lol
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: you have great fundamentals in terms of being healthy
Tall Blonde Friend from Homee: i just feel like you are easily swayed by the man though
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: like the occasional beer commercial
Runner of Blog: SO EASY
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: by wednesday of each week i almost believe that you're turning a corner... that the healthy weirdo website tha tyou constantly reference is actually inspiring you
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: and then monday comes....and shit has hit the fan
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: so its back to the website again
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: vicious cycle my friend
Runner of Blog: hahahaha IT HAS BEEN ROUGH
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: apparently, but dont worry - my faith in you wont falter
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: ill still keep on believing in you monday through wednesday
Runner of Blog: it just sucks
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: dont get down on yourself, you still have your incredible abilty to pound a beer
Tall Blonde Friend from Home: thats a talent that just shouldnt be tossed aside in lieu of a healthy liver
Runner of Blog: a tear is rolling down my cheek

Yet another odd conversation with Weird Friend

2007-08-31T11:22:00.001-04:00

Weird Friend: MURDEROUS THOUGHTS FILL MY MIND
Runner of the Blog: suicide is the only answer for you
Weird Friend THE RAGE I HAVE FILLS MY DESIRE TO KILL OTHERS
Weird Friend: WITH MY BARE HANDS
Runner of the Blog who could you possibly kill with those pretty manicured hands
Weird Friend: ive killed before
Runner of the Blog: you don't even eat meat - you vegetarian fag
Weird Friend: you are more gay..than richard simmons thats how much you love dicks
Weird Friend: obese schlongs
[13:59] Meebo Message: Weird Friend is offline
[14:49] Meebo Message: Weird Friend is online[14:49]
Weird Friend: YOUR DEAD MEAT
Runner of the Blog: why the anger? does your daddy touch you at work
Weird Friend: of course thats how you think
Weird Friend: the apple doesnt fall far from the tree..with your fathers dog raping charges and all
Weird Friend: its clear that you are a troubled youth..maybe you should try what owen wilson has
Weird Friend: huge homo
Meebo Message: Weird Friend is offline

Fraterinty Brother Teaches me the way

2007-08-31T11:17:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: for our meeting yesterday they had pizza delivered plenty leftover so ill hit that up
Fraternity Brother #1 cold pizza rules
Runner of the Blog: not a huge fan of cold pizza
Fraternity Borther #1: cause youre not a real man
Runner of the Blog: wow thats rough
Runner of the Blog: i'll eat it., but i don't think it rules
Fraternity Brother #1: people who like cold pizza cant be gay, thats the one thing that differs straights from gays
Runner of the Blog: i thought it was the cock in the ass
Fraternity Brother #1: common misconception

Weird friend Gives me a chance to respond and I failed everyone who reads this blog!

2007-08-31T09:00:00.000-04:00

12:11] Werid friend who signs online only to make fun of me: HUGE FAG

[12:58] Meebo Message: Weird Friend who signs online only to make fun of me is offline

DAMN MEETING

Smooth as Sandpaper really impresses me with his Movie Prowess

2007-08-31T08:57:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: u suck

Smooth as Sandpaper: wow - y do i suck?

Runner of the Blog: general attitude towards people

Smooth as Sandpaper: hmm, did i do something specifically to you?

Runner of the Blog: nope - lets go quail hunting

Smooth as Sandpaper: u go hunting, i'll just eat wut u catch...i want the grub worm population to grow

Runner of the Blog: haahahaha wow

Runner of the Blog: i sincerly respect the responst

My Dog Gets a New Name

2007-08-31T08:54:00.000-04:00

The Fiance: The Dog's new nickname is lightning
Runner of the Blog: ummm really
The Fiance: YUP
Runner of Blog: why
The Fiance: cause when i throw her toy she coems back like lightning before i even knew she left
Runner of Blog: wow, her legs are the size of toothpicks
Runner of Blog: height wise - they are literally the size of small toothpicks

Note: My dog is 4 pounds - LITERALLY 4 she weighs less than a gallon of water and the Fiance wants to name it Lightening when in reality it is named after a princess from a disney movie!

A little into my political view! Ignore the piss poor joke about the caveman

2007-08-21T19:25:00.001-04:00

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

THIS IS NOT SO HARD -- EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT...

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and mangers scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

Ready to vote???

Despite my absence Weird Kid is still at it!

2007-08-21T19:22:00.000-04:00

[16:02] Weird Kid who signs online just to make fun of me: COCK LOVER

[16:05] Meebo Message: Weird Kid who signs online just to make fun of me is offline

Who wants to know this information?

2007-08-21T19:20:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1t: yesterday was odd, that time never came
Runner of Blog: wow very odd
Runner of Blog: you are a pretty regular kid
Fraternity Brother #1: like clockwork
Fraternity Brother #1: good for at least 2 most of the time 3 times a day
Runner of Blog: wow
Runner of Blog: 3 good times a day is freaking impressive
Fraternity Brother #1: you would think id be skinny with a system like that
Runner of Blog: i know who u are at heart
Runner of Blog: and its not a skinny kid
Fraternity Brother #1: no shot

Fraternity Brother #1 Has mad Problems

2007-08-21T19:17:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: alright i am done at the coal mines
Fraternity Brother #1: at least its not a utah mine
Runner of Blog: see its statements like that
Runner of Blog: which get you into trouble
Fraternity Brother #1: trouble with whom?
Runner of Blog: God

People in my life have no compassion

2007-08-21T19:14:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2983121
Runner of Blog: the pain
The Fiance: sorry dear, your quarterback was a dick
Runner of Blog: YOU BEST HAVE SOME COMPASSION or i will beat u tonight
The Fiance: a beating it is!
Runner of Blog: shit this means i have to get a new jersey
The Fiance: lol thats fun
Runner of Blog: can't even get my second fav player since he left to go to seattle this year
The Fiance:
The Fiance: oh no
Runner of Blog: I think i'll go with Hall (star CB)
The Fiance: if they have a jersey fo rhim...
The Fiance: my shirt doesn't have a name right?
Runner of Blog: Hall is abig star
The Fiance: a "big star" lol
The Fiance: neat you tool
Runner of Blog: I keep getting IMs, and texts from people
Runner of Blog: doesn't anyone work

Runner of Blog is an Ass - not funny just wanna share

2007-08-21T19:08:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: Yo first time ever - i ran out of gas
Fraternity Brother #1: how does that happen
Runner of Blog: i pushed a tad too far and the computer lied to me (said I had 32 miles to go)
Fraternity Brother #1: what did you end up having to do?
Runner of Blog: push it up a large hill with the 2 coworkers I was with - then walked back to the office with them
Runner of Blog: hahahah
Runner of Blog: get the other kid's car then go to lunch then stop at an auto store
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahaha what a dummy, i hope they hate you now
Runner of Blog: Had to get a gas can - THE FUCKING GAS STATION ACROSS FROM THE DEAD CAR DIDN"T HAVE A GAS CAN!!!!!!!!! they said that they only had to buy so i said charge me whatever and then they said no more in stock!
Runner of Blog: I also bought a little fuel injector cleaner as an apology to my baby)
Runner of Blog: then took my .7 or ,8 gallons put it in the car then drove to the gas station
Runner of Blog: and filled up the fucker
Runner of Blog: it took in 17.2 gallons!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! plus the .7 or .8!!!!!!
Runner of Blog: I WAS FUCKING DRY

New Career Choice for Tall Blonde

2007-08-02T16:29:00.001-04:00

Tall Blonde from Home: Husband had the nerve to tell me that i should be the beverage girl!!!!!
Runner of Blog: hahahahaha - that would be sweet
Tall Blonde from Home: riiiiiiight I'm a LITTLE too ld to be a beverage girl
Runner of Blog: beer wench
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahah
Tall Blonde from Home: classy
Runner of Blog: i can throw empty beer cans at you and scream "get me more, beer wench"
Tall Blonde from Home: god that sounds like a bad movie
Runner of Blog: sounds like the best movie ever
Runner of Blog: it will be so bad ass they'll make a movie out of it - Beer Wench the musical
Tall Blonde from Home: omg
Tall Blonde from Homee: and i should wear one of those german beer wench outfits
Runner of Blog: EXACTLY what i am saying with "liderhosen"
Tall Blonde from Home: braids heck yeah
Runner of Blog: i am a fucking genius
Tall Blonde from Home: lol
Tall Blonde from Home: wonder who could mentor me on that one
Runner of Blog: THE FIANCE lol jk
Tall Blonde from Home: hahhahahaha
Runner of Blog: i've been throwing beer at her for years now
Tall Blonde from Home: and shes such a good sport about it - its a good thing youre marrying her
Runner of Blog: not sure what would go down if i really winged a beer at her, however, I am pretty sure you'd have a weekend free next June

Science Teacher Friend needs Motivation

2007-08-02T15:58:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: how cool was that article i sent u

REFERRING TO AN ARTICLE ABOUT SOME MINORITY KID INVENTING A BATTERY MADE WITH BACTERIA FOR A SCIENCE PROJECT

Tall Science Teacher Friend: i was really cool
Runner of Blog: dude lets do it - we can start our own brand of batteries
Tall Science Teacher Friend: sounds good to me
Runner of Blog: lets just jack the idea
Runner of Blog: The battery can be called "COMBO OF OUR REAL NAMES"
Tall Science Teacher Friend: you getting the suppleis?
Runner of Blog: you get the bacteria! embezzle it from the school
Runner of Blog: i am already cutting costs
Tall Science Teacher Friend: we need to figure out the type of bacteria needed
Runner of Blog: shouldn't be difficult google Bateria
Tall Science Teacher Friend: just leave everything in your fridge for too long and then we can test the bacteria we need to test all different ones
Runner of Blog: shouldn't you know this already
Tall Science Teacher Friend: i never studies bacteria....sorry
Runner of Blog: this will allow us never to work again! we can grow big, get into a fight, and sell our shares to a larger company and talk shit about each other in our mansions
Tall Science Teacher Friend: sounds like a dream plan
Runner of Blog: sweet
Runner of Blog: then reconnect at like 83
Tall Science Teacher Friend: i would rather it happen around 75

Stop reading the blog! Losers

2007-07-31T17:12:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog: blog has over 700 hits
Fraternity Brother #1: who's reading it?
Runner of Blogs: i dunno, but i bet its people at work reading it, and then think to themsevles that they don't have time at work to write like we do
Runner of Blog: but then are wasting time reading it
Fraternity Brother #1 hahahahahahahaha excellent point
Runner of Blog: probably more time than it took me to write this rant
Fraternity Brother #1: losers

Peer a bit more into the essence of Runner of Blog

2007-07-26T23:14:00.000-04:00

Note - Runner of Blog is a HUGE fan of the Atlanta Falcons

Fraternity Brother #1: vick just pleaded not guilty-no shock
Runner of Blog: sweet
Fraternity Brother #1: in joey harrington we trust
Runner of Blog: sucks dude
Runner of Blog: sucks hardcore ass
Fraternity Brother #1: ive asked am illion times, but how did you become a falcons fan
Runner of Blog: sanders, who didn't like him
Fraternity Brother #1: wooooo the reason you liked the falcons is cause of prime time?
Runner of Blog: and started watchign football
Fraternity Brother #1: hysterical - i was expecting you to say, my grandfather liked them and he got me into them, but no it was prime time himself
Runner of Blog: dude he was the biggest asshole when i started really getting into football and i obviously had to be a pain in the ass and root against friends and family who like NY Teams
Runner of Blog: cause even then i was an idiot
Fraternity Brother #1: as always the difficult one
Runner of Blog: always was an idiot like that just couldn't go the easy route and choose a ny team
Fraternity Brother #1: its not even about being an idvidual, you just like buggen people hahaha
Runner of Blog: YES Exactly!
Fraternity Brother #1: see i understand you - some prob think youre being an individual and expressing yourself, but i know better

Runner of Blog: ITS TRUE I SUCK
Fraternity Brother #1: dont be so hard on yourself
Runner of Blog: hahah thanks buddy\

"Attempting" to understand the "other team" and over use of quotation marks

2007-07-26T23:11:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: as i was walking around at lunch i saw a gay dude cavorting with a flock of fat ugly dames. and i felt bad for him. cause not only is he daddys dissappointment, but he doesnt even at least get to roll with the hot chicks, like most gay guys do
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHHAHAHA
Runner of Blog: gay guys always have hot girls
Fraternity Brother #1: and this one didnt, and first i was baffeled, and then i felt sorry
Runner of Blog: hahahahaha
Runner of Blog: you should have said something
Fraternity Brother #1: i wouldnt go that far
Runner of Blog: be like straight - where your hot bitches at?
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahaha
Runner of Blog: and then call him straight
Fraternity Brother #1: "faker"
Runner of Blog: "you love the VAG"
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahaha

My Dog is a jedi

2007-07-23T20:42:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: tink would do (referring to my 4 pound dog taking on a snake - like in this news story
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070723/ap_on_fe_st/odd_chihuahua_rattlesnake
The Fiance : i think so too
Runner of Blog: although tink wouldn't get bit
Runner of Blog she would kung fu the shit out of the snake prior to getting bit
The Fiance: i agree
Runner of Blog: that chiuaua is a pussy for getting bit
The Fiance: lol
Runner of Blog: maybe not a pussy cause it showed heart
The Fiance: he definitely did so we shouldn't pick on him
Runner of Blog: fine i'll just pick on his skills or lack thereof
The Fiance: thats fine he did save a child though
Runner of Blog: true, but he got bit in the process
The Fiance: it's like saying secret service doesn't have skills if they get shot saving the president....no, they just took one for the team to save someone else
Runner of Blog: hmmm you are right they are still heroes but how much more bad ass are they if they stop it and survive/not get hurt
Runner of Blog: stop the attack prior to shots fired
The Fiance: that's pretty awsome
The Fiance: that would be cool...but it's not the same scenario - the dog took the bite for the kid...
The Fiance: so to talk about something similar the guy has to take the bullet
Runner of Blog: the dog should have sensed danger and jumped on the snake rendering it dead prior to bites occurring
The Fiance: the story isnt' about a dog who destroyed teh snakes plan of attack
Runner of Blog: u are right but it would have made zoey the dog cooler
Runner of Blog: thats all i am saying
Runner of Blog: i bet tink would have thwarted the attack prior to having to take a bite to keep me alive
The Fiance: she does have jedi like senses
Runner of Blog: not jedi-like she is a jedi
Runner of Blog: i am in the midst of training her as my padi-won
The Fiance: good idea

Female President - 24 has gone too far this time!

2007-07-23T20:33:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/07/23/tv.fox.24.ap/index.html
Runner of Blog: its the only way they can say its not realistic
Runner of Blog: otherwise people would bitch that it is too real and scary
Runner of Blog: and then the producers can respond with - but there was a black president
Runner of Blog: and now a female one
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahaha
Runner of Blog: and as such - its just a show
Fraternity Brother #1: good point, never thought of it like that
Runner of Blog: yeah the chinese and US could have a mini war over russian intelligence, BUT there also could be a second black president, YEAH RIGHT!
Fraternity Brother #1: i hope the show turns into a comedy and theres a running gag that everytime she makes a rash decsion jack whispers, 'must be that time of the month'
Runner of Blog: hahahhaha
Runner of Blog: bomb them? - she must be riding the criminson wave
Runner of Blog: or Bauer could do the old school zach morris thing turn to the camera say "Time out"
Runner of Blog: and then explain how ludicrous this is cause a female is running the country
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahahahahahaha we need to be writing this show
Fraternity Brother #1: and everytime he says his catchphrase theirs cheers and laughter from a fake studio audience
Runner of Blog he breaks someones neck - there are the hoots and hollerings from the soundtrack
Runner of Blog: wow we would drive this show into the ground

Runner of Blog is taking resumes

2007-07-17T23:16:00.000-04:00

Tall Blonde from Home: you convince some poor intern to bring you coffee yet? (referring to my demand for an intern solely to get me coffee)
Runner of Blog: hahahahahhah no
Runner of Blog: haven't seen one today
Runner of Blog: haven't worked up the balls yet lol
Tall Blonde from Home: lol
Runner of Blog: i wanna so bad
Runner of Blog: and throw it at them when its wrong
Tall Blonde from Home: you are mentally deranged

Should I be worried about my Fiance

2007-07-17T23:09:00.000-04:00

The Fiance: I need a gay best friend
"Random Gay Friend of Fiance: if you're going to be in pa when i'm there...i'd want to know so we can go wedding dress shopping and cake sampling and flower coordinating and stationary/invitation shopping"
The Fiance: now this would be a good gay best friend
Runner of Blog: who is that? (referring to "Random Gay Friend of Fiance")
The Fiance: He is "X"my friend who is on broadway
Runner of Blog: WOW he loves the man ass
The Fiance: lol see! i need a gay best friend

An Update from Wannabe Doctor Next Door

2007-07-10T17:18:00.003-04:00

Wannabe Doctor Next Door: i was on call last night, do u think they let me sleep
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: NO not at all
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: i have to be there at 5 am every morning and every few nights i have to stay up until like 8 am the following day
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: its horrendous and just when u think ur nights over a girl has to go and get shot in the vagina
Runner of Blog: WHAT! shot in the vag?
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: ya no joke
Runner of Blog: that is nuts
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: shot right to the vagina
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: young girl
Runner of Blog: wait I need details
Runner of Blog: what do u mean in the vag? are we talking up or through
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: shoots her in the vajaja lol it went through her labia and also penetrated the rectum i think
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: she needs a colostomy bag for 6 months
Runner of Blog: Through the labia? was she cute?
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: haha i didnt go in to see her cause when i got down to ER there were like 3 other cases including this girl who they found passed out in a motel who is schitzophrenic, depressed, binge drinker, thinks she might be pregnant, has std's, and smokes alot
Runner of Blog: sounds hot
Wannabe Doctor Next Door: and black and blues all over her body, which she says her bf did Runner of Blog: ooo thats not good she is a rat
Wannabe Doctor Next Door hahahahaha

Smooth as Sandpaper takes it too far putting our frienship at risk!

2007-07-10T17:18:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog: sucks that you are going to fail tonight (Smooth had a test for work)
Smooth as Sandpaper: wow, ur like a really big dick
Smooth as Sandpaper: thanx 4 the vote of confidence, scumbag
Runner of Blog: don't get upset - figured you couldn't get a CD to start...this was just the next step
Runner of Blog: hahahah I make myself laugh
Smooth as Sandpaper: fuck off greek boy im gonna ace the test b/c i know everything
Runner of Blog: u don't know dick
Smooth as Sandpaper: thought u'd like 2 know that i just smashed ur coke bottles in the street cocksucker
Runner of Blog: THATS NOT COOL AT ALL - why take it out on the bottles

Note - Runner of Blog has a gay collection of special Coke Bottles from different countries and events

Tinkerbell, Rocky, Roxy, Matches, Taz, Axel, Boomer, and Otis may have been onto something

2007-07-05T16:08:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: u know how we as humans think we are better than animals?
Fraternity Brother #1: yes sir
Runner of Blog: I always laugh when tink is looking for that exact spot to piss
Runner of Blog: and she goes to the same place
Runner of Blog: yet i go to the same stall or urinal every time!
Runner of Blog: To make it worse, I get pissed when someone fucked it up for me
Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahahaha 100% correct, i get so angry if someone is in the shitter i usually go in or its not clean
Runner of Blog: who are we to judge dogs
Fraternity Brother #1: we are no one!
Runner of Blog: pissed off when someone marks our teritory

Note - I apologize to all the dogs named in the title for ever getting annoyed when they searched for that special spot

A Little About Runner of Blog

2007-06-27T16:13:00.001-04:00

These are quotes from a professional personality test given to me at work. It gives you an insight to who I am - and if you already know me, just laugh at the accuracy:

I am a "persuader"
Runner of Blog likes quality social relationships, he likes freedom from many controls
he tends to trust people and may be taken advantage of because of his trust
he is gregarious and sociable
He likes feeback from his manager on how he is
He is driven by status and power
when he has strong feelings about a particular problem, you should expect to hear these feelings and they will probably be expressed in an emotional manner
He may leap to a favorable conclusion without considering all the facts
Communication can extend from friendly to argumentative discourse
He tends to influence people to his way of thinking by using verbiage as compared with others who like to use reports
He judges others by their verbal skills and warmth
"He may not understand why everyone doesn't see life as he does!"

Another "conversation" with Weird Friend

2007-06-27T16:12:00.003-04:00

[12:09] Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: FEMINIST
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHHA RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Runner of Blog: i can't even take that seriously
[12:09] Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: bro you're practically Rosie o'donnel's assistant
[12:10] Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: you know you want that lesbo ass of hers
[12:10] VWeird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: skidmarked panties and all
Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me: bitchass
Runner of Blog: wow

[12:13] Meebo Message: Weird Friend that Signs online only to make fun of me is offline

Another Instance of Fraternity Brother #1's deranged sense of humor

2007-06-27T16:12:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog: dude
Runner of Blog: RANDOM FRATERNITY BROTHER was reading the hofstra alum mag
Runner of Blog: and there was a "FRATERNITY BROTHER #1's Name" who graduated in 2003 (with us) who got married to some asian chick
Franterity Brother #1: They finally put that in
Franterity Brother #1: tell him i want a copy of that - i submitted that about year ago
Runner of Blog: are you serious
Franterity Brother #1: i wanted to see what theyd put in, so i said i married a vietnamese woman ying lao or something to that effect
Franterity Brother #1: everytime i got an issue of the mag, id scour it to see if they put it in and finally they did
Franterity Brother #1: im 100% serious too
Runner of Blog: WOW u are so fucke dup
Franterity Brother #1: thanks buddy
Franterity Brother #1: wow, im so thrilled
Franterity Brother #1: that is exactly why i put it in there for this day. for someone i know to read it and go, 'whaaaaaat'
Runner of Blog: you are insane
Franterity Brother #1: that means so much
Runner of Blog: You just stole RANDOM FRATERNITY BROTHER'S Thunder cause he submitted their wedding also
Franterity Brother #1: im so thrilled today, you have no idea
Runner of Blog: amazing u never cease to amaze
Franterity Brother #1: and that my friend is why i submitted, so people would say that to me
Runner of Blog: JM saw your ad too
Franterity Brother #1: oh the more i hear about it, the happier i am
Runner of Blog: send a picture of you and an oriental off the street to nationals
Franterity Brother #1: an oriental man
Runner of Blog: You are a mess

Inspiring the Fiancee

2007-06-26T17:56:00.002-04:00

The Fiancee: do you think if we snuck by the pool tonight we could put our hands in the wet cement
Runner of Blog: depends will the cement be wet? and can we get past the security guardThe Fiancee: hmmm
Runner of Blog: i am willing to try if you stretch out first. don't want you pulling a hammy
The Fiancee: lol true although i am fast
Runner of Blog: once stretched - before that you are too slow
The Fiancee: lol true
Runner of Blog: hmmm maybe you should start stretching now
The Fiancee: you think?
Runner of Blog: yeah, you probably need a good couple hours of stretching in there before we reach "fast" FIANCE stage
The Fiancee: lol ya or a few years of wokring out...
Runner of Blog: don't get down on yourself, just start stretching now - i'll be home in a few hours from work
The Fiancee: ok

Sometimes you have to Look inward and decide whats important

2007-06-26T17:56:00.001-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: so youve inspired me
Fraternity Brother #1: im going to quit soda cold turkey, im gonna have one today as farewell and then thats it
Runner of Blog: WOW i am pumped for you
Runner of Blog: isn't it funny that we do this shit - Yet we can polish off 8 beers without blinking
Fraternity Brother #1: the irony is amazing when you break it down like that
Runner of Blog: you lift 6 days a week (NOTE Runner of Blog DOES NTO WORK OUT 6 TIMES A WEEK), eat right, quit soda and friday rolls around
Runner of Blog: and you finish 8 beers - a light night
Fraternity Brother #1: with not even a thought of calorie excess
Runner of Blog: even a light beer that equals 880 calories
Runner of Blog: which does not include the amount of food eaten afterward
Runner of Blog: then passing out
Fraternity Brother #1: and then bein hungover the next day, and eating a greesy breakfast and not doing anything all day and if it happens to be a saturday, you then do the same thing sat night, and repeat said greasy breakfast and no activity on sunday
Fraternity Brother #1: but soda is a no-no
Runner of Blog: soda and coffee - OUT
Fraternity Brother #1: they are both evil. beer is our friend
LATER IN THE DAY
Fraternity Brother #1: me too, hows this for irony. so i go to pick up my last soda. i get back to the office sit down and unscrew the cap, and what does it say, 'congrads you've won a free soda!'
Runner of Blog: Damn it you have to get it, bottom line
Fraternity Brother #1: i dont have a choice - the cap is telling me to get it
Runner of Blog: ZERO choice

Runner of Blog gets a bit upset

2007-06-20T17:33:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: i am pissed at you
Tall Blonde from Home: why is that>
Runner of Blog: there is a bud berwery in NH
Tall Blonde from Home: you hormonal or something
Tall Blonde from Home: yes there is
Tall Blonde from Home: i went to a wedding there. Theres also red hook brewery, which ive heard is even better
Runner of Blog: WHY DON"T U SHARE THIS SHIT?
Tall Blonde from Home: i do it intentionally to hurt you because in all actuallity...i dislike youTall Blonde from Home: hence the reason i talk to you everyday i try to make you hate life through boring and un neccesary conversations
Runner of Blog: U SUCK ASS. ASS SUCKER
Tall Blonde from Home: thats the best you can do? and you have a law degree?
Tall Blonde from Home: id like to see that one used in court
Runner of Blog: i'd be disbarred for the things i am thinking about you
Tall Blonde from Home: "your honor, this man is a menace to society as a whole...he's an ass sucker your honor. THe worst type of criminal
Runner of Blog: why didn't u tell me about this? I dunno around the time I was in that shitty state for YOUR wedding

I learn a little about Smooth before he insults me and Leaves me

2007-06-20T17:32:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: Lunch?
Smooth as Sandpaper: nope, goin 2 the gym
Runner of Blog: but i am hungry. Want me to wait till after u get out
Runner of Blog: is it me? do u not like me
Smooth as Sandpaper: itz part of it
Runner of Blog: wow only part? if i didn't like someone that'd be most of it
Smooth as Sandpapers: do u really want to wait 2hrs?
Runner of Blog: 2 hours!!!!!!! what the fuck are you doing there
Smooth as Sandpaper: im in the gym for about 2hrs everyday. how do u think i've lost so much weight?
Runner of Blog: drugs - coke head
Smooth as Sandpaper: thas it, dick
Runner of Blog: dick? i am not the one bumping lines to be skinny
Smooth as Sandpaper: nice ur a real good friend
Runner of Blog: u won't even eat with me
Smooth as Sandpaper: i like u as a person, but u usually smell like shit, and itz not really ur fault it is ur heritage greeks usually smell
Smooth as Sandpaper: heres a quick joke 4 u before i leave- what has 4 legs and 4 arms and never works out?
Runner of Blog: i failed to come up with a witty remark, so go for it
Smooth as Sandpaper: marriage
Runner of Blog: WOW not sure if you remember but i just got engaged like 3 months ago u were at my engagement party on sat
Runner of Blog: i could use a bit of optimisim
Smooth as Sandpaper: hey not my fault u have no sense of humor

MUCH LATER
Runner of Blog: i made it through lunch, but it was hard
Smooth as Sandpaper: good 4 u buddy i had faith
Smooth as Sandpaper: how do u feel about me leaving u mid conversation to go shower
Runner of Blog: not very good. Doesn't leave me warm and fuzzy
Runner of Blog: Hello?

Despite 6 and half years deep = I still need to share my wisdom with the future wife

2007-06-07T17:20:00.001-04:00

THE Fiance: howd it go (referring to my bathroom trip)
Runner of Blog: well
THE Fiance: i'm glad to hear it
Runner of Blog: thanks! I took a little longer just to amek sure i was done
THE Fiance: lol thats good, i never do that
Runner of Blog: got to
THE Fiance: i hate to sit
Runner of Blog: its a necessary
THE Fiance: lol
Runner of Blog: be oine with the toilet
THE Fiance: nah
Runner of Blog: nah?
THE Fiance: don't want to be one with the toilet
Runner of Blog: you have to love the toliet
Runner of Blog: allow it the time necessary
Runner of Blog: never rush

Woe is Fraternity Brother #1

2007-06-07T17:18:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: so lemme ask ya sumtin
Runner of Blog: k
Fraternity Brother #1: at your place you and fiance have two couches...when you guys are watching tv do you sit on the same couch or separate
Runner of Blog: we were same couch tilla bout 3 months ago when she unilaterally decided that the time spent spreading my legs all over her had to stop
Fraternity Brother #1: hmmmm interesting, maybe im the heartless one then
Runner of Blog: nah i
[12:40] Fraternity Brother #1: i got flack for not wanting to watch so you think you can dance with her, which led to the couch fight
Runner of Blog: i am a sprawler so if she can handle my fat ass all over the couch then i'll stay
Runner of Blog: but if she says anything about moving off her i just leave the couch
Fraternity Brother #1: when your on the same couch, is there cuddling or just you sprawling
Runner of Blog: sprawling[12:44]
Runner of Blog: rarely is their the cuddle on the couch however when there is cuddle on the couch its one of us just lying on the other[12:44] Runner of Blog: which is a just a variation of the sprawl
Fraternity Brother #1: see, she likes when i lay behind her and cuddle on the couch, which is beyond uncomfortable and then i get flack for when i want to move after 5 minutes
Runner of Blog: thats mad annoying
Fraternity Brother #1: you have no idea

Knocking Tall Blonde a few feet down! A MUST READ if you know TALL BLONDE

2007-06-07T17:17:00.000-04:00

Tall Blonde From Home: oh and by the way I'm slightly disturbed with your blog post re: the hanger
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHA that went wrong, very quickly
Tall Blonde From Home: my vagina felt violated
Runner of Blog: HA thats rough
Tall Blonde From Home: yeah - just really wrong of your frat brother
Runner of Blog: so it didn't make you feel sexy is what you are saying
Tall Blonde From Home: pretty much the exact opposite. I found myself crossing my legs subconsciously trying to protect my uterus
Runner of Blog: hahahahha HIDE THE UTERUS
Tall Blonde From Home: at all costs
Tall Blonde From Home: the ancient renaissance painters appreciated the uterus...the least you can do is respect it
Tall Blonde From Home: did the davinci code teach you nothing?
Runner of Blog: hahahah - that either da vinci is nuts OR the chruch is Evil
Tall Blonde From Home: well i agree with you on the church thing, but worshiping the puss....he got that part right
Tall Blonde From Home: as stated in the 40 year old virgin "putting the pussy on a pedestal"[11:13]
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHA lets slow down
Runner of Blog: da vanici was only putting one puss on a pedestal
Runner of Blog: i.e. the one that birthed the son of God
Runner of Blog: so unless you are pushing out some messiahs slow your roll
Tall Blonde From Home: hahhahahaha shit...im pretty sure contributing gargantuan redheaded basketball players to society will be no small fete
Tall Blonde From Home: cause lord only knows that i will one day give birth to papa sized tikes (note that Tall Blonde's genes which make her tall come from her bear like father - see past posts)
Tall Blonde From Home: and yes...the vagina deserves credit for that one
Runner of Blog: while your family might have large heads
Runner of Blog: and large bodies
Runner of Blog: and yes it will suck
Runner of Blog: i will give you a present and a pat on the back
Runner of Blog: you don't deserve the worship of the holy vagina that gave birth on that faithful day which changed the history of the world
Tall Blonde From Home: fair enough
Tall Blonde From Home: and you can keep your pat on the back

The conversation takes a wrong turn somewhere

2007-06-05T17:14:00.001-04:00

13:25] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: you know what commercial cracks me up?
[13:25] Runner of Blog: go on
Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: its for like a pregnancy test that let's you know like five days after you've had sex if your knocked up or not but the lady in the commercial goes "Imagine knowing your pregnant the moment it happens"
[13:27] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: like, i picture being in the middle of sex and all of a sudden the girl goes "oh crap....we're in trouble"
[13:27] Runner of Blog: hahahha your sperm has penetrated the defenses
Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: "oh shit, its a boy" then you just like pull out cause you're like "well damn, that ruins it for me"
[13:28] Runner of Blog: wow
[13:29] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties lie he is 18: yeah like "shit, let me put my finger up there for a minute, maybe i can take it back before it's too far gone"
[13:30] Runner of Blog: catch the fucker!
[13:30] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: "well should we finish up or should i go get the coat hanger now?"
[13:30] Runner of Blog: why do they have to be mutually exclusive? finish and the coat hanger could be easier to accidentally trip her down a flight of stairs
Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: or you could just leave and stop answering her phone calls and change your address
[13:33] Hairy Fraternity Brother who Parties like he is 18: little known fact: My name used to be Brian Chatsworth of Erie, Pennsylvania
Runner of Blog: This conversation has gone too far!

Have we advanced as a society? probably not

2007-06-05T17:13:00.000-04:00

Runner of Blog: This might be really chauvinistic but I am going to throw it at you
Fraternity Brother #1: Probably not
Runner of Blog: I saw this very hot chick this morning getting out of an 80K SUV
[11:13] Fraternity Brother #1: thats hot
[11:13] Runner of Blog: and i looked and just assumed that her husband made cash
[11:14] mwymantext100: its long island, chances are youre 100% correct
[11:16] Runner of Blog: it didn't dawn on me that she couldn't make her own money lol
[11:16] Fraternity Brother #1: like i said with long island 9 times out of 10 thats not the case
[11:17] Fraternity Brother #1: ill take it one step further 8 times out of 10 for the rest of the country
[11:18] Runner of Blog: hahaha
[11:19] Fraternity Brother #1: if she did make her own money, what do you think she'd be to make that kind of bank?

Tall Blonde from Home goes on a diatribe about her love for Syosset

2007-06-04T16:47:00.001-04:00

[10:48] Tall Blonde From Home: i mean look at syosset
[10:48] Tall Blonde From Home: you cant deny even we're better than buffalo.... syosset town that puts natalie portman into the spotlight (Buffalo came up because it was the birth place of an amazing game of KanJam found at www.kanjam.com )
[10:49] Tall Blonde From Home: geeks everywhere can get theyre rocks off to queen amadala
[10:49] Tall Blonde From Home: therefore making the work a happier place
[10:50] Runner of Blog: those geeks COULD have invented a bomb causing mass destruction if they weren't jerking to Queen
[10:50] Tall Blonde From Home: precisely my point or worse they could have invented computer programs that would make our jobs obsolete
[10:51] Tall Blonde From Home: syossets contribution to this great nation, make that this great planet is monumental
[10:52] Tall Blonde From Home: ((fade into "god Bless America"))

Strippers are bad

2007-06-04T16:46:00.001-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: I'm excited for this weekends strip club. cause itll be all nude and in ac itll prob be trashier
[10:04] Runner of Blog: ac has some dirty strip clubs
[10:04] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah dude. the one we were at on saturday wasnt all nude, which stinks
[10:06] Runner of Blog: in ny 99% aren't all nudes
[10:07] Fraternity Brother #1: a lot in jersey are. but they dont serve alcohol. but will allow you to bring your own in. which is amazing to me
[10:09] Runner of Blog: wow you bring in your own is amazing. So i can see women AND don't have to pay 8 bucks a beer
[10:10] Fraternity Brother #1: seriously. basically you pay a $25 cover, and then the rest can be put towards the dames
[10:22] Runner of Blog: lol dames? you mean sluts
Fraternity Brother #1: yeah i suppose that would be more fitting
Fraternity Brother #1: you a big strip club person?
[10:25] Runner of Blog: i hate strip clubs
[10:25] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah not a big fan of them myself, i never know how to act in there
[10:25] Runner of Blog: its not even that - its the fact that i drop money like its nothing
Fraternity Brother #1: cause you know why?
[10:25] Runner of Blog: THEY ARE NAKED......and i have no will power
[10:26] Runner of Blog: and then what do i get when i leave there? Nothing not even drunk cause i can't afford to give all my money away AND pay for 8 dollar beers

I actually get to respond to Weird Friend....kinda

2007-06-04T16:45:00.001-04:00

Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: PUNK ASS
[14:42] Runner of Blog: what up
[14:42] Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: THE SKY
[14:43] Runner of Blog: stomach has been off (Note that Weird Friend and I went to the best burger place the day before and I stupidly purchased a milk shake)
[14:46] Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: HAHAH
[14:46] Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me: you bloody little bitch

[14:46] Meebo Message: Weird Friend who signs online to make fun of me is offline

Weird friend Strikes another

2007-06-04T16:44:00.001-04:00

Smooth as Sandpaper: gotta love "Weird Friend"
Smooth as Sandpaper: Weird Friend (2:42:09 PM): HEEBEREW
Weird Friend signed off at 2:46:26 PM

People are FIGHTING to get on this Blog

2007-05-31T17:39:00.001-04:00

Wannabe Long Islander: oh, and do i have a special name on your blog yet?
Runner of Blog: hahah no because you have offered no conversations thus far
Wannabe Long Islander: would you like to discuss "third party friend's" mommy issues and post that for the world to see?
Runner of Blog: hahahahahha, might be a tad personal for that
Wannabe Long Islander: bummer

Weird friend strikes again

2007-05-31T17:38:00.001-04:00

Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me: OLD MAN
Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me: HOW ARE THE DENTURES
Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me: STILL EATING THROUGH A STRAW
Weird Friend Who signs online to make fun of me is offline

Fraternity Brother #1 has a new Homeless friend

2007-05-22T17:34:00.001-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: in my new office i have a view of the street, and im fascinated by this homeless man who stands in the same place all day long
Runner of Blog: wow all day?
Fraternity Brother #1: the commitment he has is shocking. i wonder how he has the dedication to get out there for 8am stand there till 6, but doesn't have the motivation to go to work
Runner of Blogs: talking to himself?
Fraternity Brother #1: nope completely sane
Runner of Blog: that is incredible
Fraternity Brother #1: and he stands the whole time!!!!!
Fraternity Brother #1: i don't get it! he can work at mcdonalds, get money, and a meal all in one
Runner of Blog: you should talk to him about it
Fraternity Brother #1: another guy in my office and i are thinking of doing an intervention or buying a bullhorn to harass him from our window
Runner of Blog: i vote for an intervention - YOU could be th person that changes his life - You could bring back his family - you could bring hope to all his homeless friends
Fraternity Brother #1: BORING rather harass him

Bathroom issues

2007-05-22T13:29:00.001-04:00

Runner of Blog: bathroom in new place is just alright
Fraternity Brother #1: same here man
Runner of Blog: not a fan of the auto-hand washer thing
Fraternity Brother #1: i got more stalls at this new place, not as spacious and not as clean
Fraternity Brother #1: i hate auto handwashers - ill decide how much water i need
Runner of Blog and temp - fuck the system
Fraternity Brother #1: seriously, nothing is more annoying then when the water shuts off on your still soapy hands and you have to pull them away from the sensor and then wave them infront again
Runner of Blog: freaking annoying

Mr. Softee for President

2007-05-17T14:42:00.000-04:00

Smooth as Sandpaper: just want to let u kno that when i got out of the gym b4, mister softee was waiting 4 me outside

Smooth as Sandpaper: haha couldn't resist

Runner of Blog: hahahahah no one can - its like crack to us fat kids at heart

Smooth as Sandpaper: so fuckin good

Runner of Blog: what did you get

Runner of Blog: HUGE fan of the two-tone cone

Smooth as Sandpaper: single cone, vanilla, choc. sprinkles

Runner of Blog: BAD ASS i would have went with chocolate cookie crunch stuff

Smooth as Sandpaper: well ur fat

Runner of Blog: lol because i would have substituted sprinkles for cookie crunch - thats what makes me fat?! really

Smooth as Sandpaper: yes

Runner of Blog: how about the fact that I eat Mr. Softee KNOWING that i will hurt later on

Smooth as Sandpaper: that just makes u stupid

Runner of Blog: so chocolate cookie crunch = fat / ignoring my lactose problem = stupid

Smooth as Sandpaper: umm, yea pretty much

Avoid Barbar conversations

2007-05-16T16:52:00.001-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: there ya go. i gotta get a haircut after work, and im in no mood for it

Runner of Blog: then don't go bro

Fraternity Brother #1: no i need too. i just hate sitting in the chair for a half hour having forced conversation

Runner of Blog: my guy no chatting

Fraternity Brother #1: thats amazing

Runner of Blog: it really is nice

Fraternity Brother #1: i love when i get a non chatty person, i dont need to engage in 30 minutes of small talk

Runner of Blog: dude you just have to close your eyes

Fraternity Brother #1: hmmmmmmm an interesting tactic

Runner of Blog: just do it today - get in the chair and shut your eyes

Runner of Blog: if that doesn't work threaten him/her

Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahaha, either that or rub my hand on their thigh as they walk by, and blow them a kiss

Runner of Blog:or rub the sharp edge of a scissor across their skin and ask if they like"it" dangerous

Fraternity Brother #1: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Weird Friend strikes again!

2007-05-15T13:24:00.000-04:00

Weird Friend who IMs me just to make fun of me (1:13:41 PM): TESTICLE SUCKER

Weird Friend who IMs me just to make fun of me signed off at 1:14:28 PM.

Note that after calling me a ball licker - he signs off less than one minute later!

Tall Blonde is no longer a commercial watching fag! and her husband is a hick

2007-05-14T17:11:00.001-04:00

Tall Blonde from home: score - i convinced the husband to get dvr (if you refer to an older post I determined that tall blonde was a commercial watching fag for not having a DVR/TIVO)
Runner of Blog: NICE -no more commercial watching fag for u
Tall Blonde from home: got called a spoiled brat in the process...but who cares
Tall Blonde from home: i've redeemed my coolness
Runner of Blog: i am telling you - give him one week with the thing and you won't be a brat anymore, but a savior to your marriage
Tall Blonde from home: amen
Tall Blonde from home: i told him that if he gets a $2k lawnmower...the least he can do is get me a dvr
Tall Blonde from home: talk abut an effin compromise
Runner of Blog: i like him
Tall Blonde from home: dont encourage it
Tall Blonde from home: its bad enough that he's demanding a cupholder for the thing
Runner of Blog: YES! if i am going to get a lawnmower thats the one so I can hold my beer while i drive it with two hands while wearing a stained wife beater
Runner of Blog: i still don't get how he doesn't want a DVR
Tall Blonde from home: me either?!?!?!
Runner of Blog: It has to be one of the best inventions since 1999; its hard for me to think of another one
Tall Blonde from home: hes not a fan of monthly charges
Tall Blonde from home: it took me a WHILE to convince him that Netflix wasnt the devil

The Fiance is illiterate

2007-05-14T17:09:00.000-04:00

The Fiance: i am now up to date on your blog
The Fiance: so reading it to me when i am starving is no longer necessary
Runner of Blog: WRONG
Runner of Blog: always necessary
The Fiance: but i read it myself
Runner of Blog: you can't read
Runner of Blog: no reason to be ashamed of your illiteracy, it effects a lot of people
The Fiance: your a nut
Runner of Blog: at least I am a nut that can read
The Fiance: tool
Runner of Blog: hurts when the fiance calls you a tool takes a bite out of the ol' ego
The Fiance: good
Runner of Blog: but then i remember that the fiance can't read
Runner of Blog: and i feel better about myself
The Fiance: you shouldn't feel better about your self you drunk ass KFC eating...david hasslehoff like....tool
Runner of Blog: hurts a bit
The Fiance: i'm sorry - i needed something after teh "you can't read" thing
Runner of Blog: kind of hitting below the belt, but what else can one expect from a person that can't read and then lies about reading her soon to be husband's blog
The Fiance: i guess one can't expect much more
The Fiance: 13 months today till our wedding!
The Fiance: get ready!
The Fiance: and our 3 month engagement anniversary!
Runner of Blog: might have to rethink this whole thing if you can't read
Runner of Blog: it could affect our children
The Fiance: true, i guess you should think about it...but i gave you that chance prior to sending out the save the dates
Runner of Blog: but thats before the illiteracy thing came up
The Fiance: well you should've known....we've been together over 6 years
The Fiance: you couldn't just have "noticed" today
Runner of Blog: well the fact that you are responding to written words on an instant messenger also gave me a hint
The Fiance: ahhh

Die Hard and Equality

2007-05-11T15:47:00.000-04:00

Fraternity Brother Number 1: just read that the 4th die hard got a pg-13 rating, thats gross
Runner of Blog: Horrible
Fraternity Brother Number 1: i had the same reaction. there's a website w/ a petition to change it to R
Runner of Blog: hahaha
Fraternity Brother Number 1: http://www.petitiononline.com/lfodh/petition.html
Fraternity Brother Number 1: its got 559 signatures
Runner of Blog: hahaha u are number 559
Runner of Blog: i want Bruce cursing and yelling at minorities in his standard angry voice
Fraternity Brother Number 1: damn right i am. thats what die hard is!
Fraternity Brother Number 1: why are we becoming such pussies as a society?
Runner of Blog: this is the PUSSIFICATION of America
Runner of Blog: wahhh my 12 year old should see the movie and it needs to be clean - They should! but with cursing
Fraternity Brother Number 1: let me tell you something, I was 7 or 8 years old when i saw the first die hard on hbo, i was 10 when i saw the second, my dad took me to the see the third in the movie theater when i was 14, and i turned out normal
Fraternity Brother Number 1: why do we have to tone everything down for children? we're raising a bunch of ninnies
Runner of Blog: how else are they going to learn how to curse
Runner of Blog: if you want to teach your kid about sex - you just "accidentally" leave porn around - they'll figure it out
Fraternity Brother Number 1: that's the reason i think my dad cancelled HBO after i was 10 or 11
[14:51] Fraternity Brother Number 1: he figured he left it around long enough for me to sneak and watch it, once he knew i had the knowledge, he stopped paying for it
Runner of Blog: once u saw real sex?
Fraternity Brother Number 1: exactly, thats how i learned everything, i used to sneak downstairs to watch hbo once everyone was asleep
Fraternity Brother Number 1: i watched everything man. all the R rated stuff they wouldnt let me see, eddie murphy raw, dice clay, all their porns
Fraternity Brother Number 1: and here i am. still a well adjusted person in society. sure i may laugh at the handicap and terminal diseases, but im not reenacting anything i saw in those movies
[Runner of Blog: ridiculous
Fraternity Brother Number 1: ok, the people who complain are these out of date people in the government. these whiners and complainers in special interests groups, but at some point, weren't they just like we are now. not really offended by much? does that mean one day we'll be the cry babies?
Runner of Blog: No, those people were the liberal tree huggers that i knew in law school
Runner of Blog: they will always be bitching, until they take everything away that i consider American
Fraternity Brother Number 1: hahahahaha, you got a point
Fraternity Brother Number 1: yesterday i went for a walk on lunch and i saw a group of protesters in front of the state house, young college age kids with signs saying 'bush orchestrated 9-11'
Runner of Blog: that seems completely reasonable - bush who can't tie his own shoes orchestrated the death of 5,000 people
Fraternity Brother Number 1: thats what i said. this is a dude who had trouble chewing on a pretzel, but he can pull this off.
Fraternity Brother Number 1: one would think IF he did, he would have at least benefited from it in some way. but i don't see how he could have
Fraternity Brother Number 1: you should see some of the stuff i see people protesting over. living in a city, thats the state capital, thats chock full of young idealogical college kids who wear smart people glasses always have stuff to bitch about
Runner of Blog: Everyone is all for helping people until its their paycheck being raped
Fraternity Brother Number 1: todays protesters were for protecting the people in Darfur
Runner of Blog: where the fuck is that
[15:09] Fraternity Brother Number 1: i dunno, some place in Africa, where the people are being killed, i think
[15:09] Fraternity Brother Number 1: i dunno, maybe im silly, but maybe we should be worrying about our own people. seeing as how this week 6 dudes were arrested for plotting an attack, so obviously the threat is still very real
Runner of Blog: even more basic than that - if there is a homeless person in America he should be helped BEFORE a homeless dude in bumble fuck Africa
Runner of Blog: where most of the people are homeless ANYWAY
Runner of Blog: you have no idea me and constitutional law 2 had some real problems
Runner of Blog: first it would be me vs blacks then me vs women
Runner of Blog: i should not be discriminated against because i am a white Christian male
Fraternity Brother Number 1: i wish i could have taken the class with ya, at least so ya had someone on your side
Runner of Blog: i'd get out and all white males would agree but NO ONE HAD MY BACK
Runner of Blog: left me out to dry
Runner of Blog: i was like the martin luther king, Jr. of white politics
Fraternity Brother Number 1: hahahahaha. im sure the blacks and the women looked at you w/ disgust as well
Runner of Blog: all blacks did - but not all women cause some knew i was right
Runner of Blog: I just feel like shit should be equal across the board, so discrimination is bad but so is affirmative action
Fraternity Brother Number 1: thats where im at. im not racist, id like to see real equality. not equality but leaning in favor of one direction
Runner of Blog: agreed

Link's (not cool Zelda Link, but the caveman from Encino man) First Entry

2007-05-08T17:58:00.000-04:00

Conversation Between Fraternity Brother #1 and Link (not cool Zelda Link, but the caveman from Encino man

Also our first convo where I am not involved

Fraternity Brother #1: I asked Link (not cool Zelda Link, but the caveman from Encino man) if he finally admitted he was dating his woman, and this is what i get (2 hours later mind you)
Link (not cool Zelda Link, but Link from Encino man: yes I admitting it kind have to when you go to hawaii for week with her

Fraternity Brother #1: there we go slick................not for a long ass time fella. all my money is goin to other peoples weddings hahahaha
Link (not cool Zelda Link, but Link from Encino man: that how have to get it back

Fraternity Brother #1: i cant even guess as to what hes trying to say there

Jack Bauer Admiration

2007-05-08T14:31:00.001-04:00

Fraternity Brother #1: i still want jack bauer to open a martial art school
Runner of Blog: hahahha, or the guy who taught bauer!
Fraternity Brother #1: nope, bauer could beat him
Runner of Blog: u are right but bauer wouldn't teach
Runner of Blog: i always wonder what bauer makes salary wise
Fraternity Brother #1: dude, no joke ive wondered that since season 1
Fraternity Brother #1: he's saved the world a number of times, saved the president even more. i mean they at least have to let him not pay taxes
Runner of Blog: i mean does he just write on his W-4 - Bauer, I have a pass
Fraternity Brother #1: Bauer doesnt have time to add lines A-H
Runner of Blog: a W-2 form can suck his nut sack

Ahhh......Tall Blonde's Crazy Mom and Mexicans

2007-05-08T10:41:00.001-04:00

Tall Blonde from Home: i mean...in comparison to my wacky mother....his parents are compltely fucking normal
[09:27] Runner of Blog: don't you dare talk shit about your dad - that bear like creature is a wonderful person
Tall Blonde from Home: not him....but his wife, shes a certified looney toon
[09:28] Runner of Blog: i thought i was done for at your wedding when his claws came after me (Note that Tall blonde's father is like 6'11 LITERALLY - the man is more beast than human)
Tall Blonde from Home: did i ever tell you about the mexicans
[09:28] Runner of Blog: the mexicans? well i do know they are an industrious people living south of this great country of ours - their main exports are cheap labor, child prostitutes and drugs
Runner of Blog: they cater to spring breakers who do not like "laws"
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahah this is very true. My story is not about actual live mexicans though
Runner of Blog: despite living in an arid wasteland of a country they are surprisingly good at lawn maintenance
Tall Blonde from Home: they do know a thing or two about proper fertilizing. God bless them and their crab grass killing ways
Tall Blonde from Home: anyway.,....back to my story
Tall Blonde from Home: so the parents come to visit me and the husband in san fran a few years back.... and i have to mention that my mother has this new hobby of passing off other peoples old shit as gifts. She calls it "antiqueing"
Tall Blonde from Home: i call it shit giving
Tall Blonde from Home: so she shows up...to my VERY modern california loft with a gift and there they are....3 1 foot tall paper mache mexican statues
Tall Blonde from Home: now....i'm trying to contain my utter confusion as to why in gods name shes giving them to me...and just say thanks and try not to make a big deal over them because as i learned in an earlier shit giving experience, that the more you excited you seem about this crap...the more you get
Tall Blonde from Home: so a few months go by, and im home visiting for thanksgiving, and voila...shes managed to find 4 more shitty paper mache mexicans
Tall Blonde from Home: at this point im just at a loss for words
Tall Blonde from Home: first of all...who is donating these shitty ugly, scary looking statues on a regular basis...and how is my mother the only person on this planet whos buying them. it doesnt stop at thanksgiving though....shortly there after we get two more in the mail
Runner of Blog: i am crying at work
Runner of Blog: SHE IS MAILING THEM!
Tall Blonde from Home: so if you can count...at this point we have 9 FUCKING GODN AWFUL mexicans in our possesion so whats the next obvious step?
Runner of Blog: more
Tall Blonde from Home: well for christmas we reenact the nativity under our christmas tree using our newfound mexican village
Runner of Blog: HAHAHAH are they cutting your grass? cleaning up baby Jesus' shit
Tall Blonde from Home: absolutely fucking priceless
Runner of Blog: speaking broken english as you beat them for not wiping baby Jesus properly
Tall Blonde from Home: hahahahahhaha if i could have,....i would have made them clean up all the pine needle shit...because thats their fortay
Tall Blonde from Home: so these things became the running joke of the complex....which was fine and good but now that we're about to get a house, im just waiting for the moment that my mother gets there and wonders where the godn damn mexicans are
Tall Blonde from Home: and why they're not displayed and that my friend...is why my mother is a looney toon
Runner of Blog: thats incredible where did the mexicans go
Runner of Blog: besides 12 to a low riding car
Tall Blonde from Home: they are buried in a box....in the depths of our storage, i can only pray to go that some hungry mice got to them
Tall Blonde from Home: i even tried to see if i could sell them on ebay
Runner of Blog: hmmm smart call
Tall Blonde from Home: but of course their not worth a dime
Runner of Blog: maybe you can sell them to "Weird Friend that signs online just to make fun of me" and he can start a little village of his people (Weird Friend is of South American Decent - not mexican though)
Tall Blonde from Home: AHAHAHAHAH
Runner of Blog: he can name them after his cousins
Tall Blonde from Home: then maybe i should ask my mom to start looking for more, lord knows those mexicans know how to reproduce

Lunch is important

2007-05-07T17:10:00.001-04:00

13:19] Fraternity Brother #1: just had a fat buffalo wrap
[13:19] Runner of Blog: OOO NICE
[13:20] Fraternity Brother #1: homemade, so its made with love
[13:20] Runner of Blog: or cyanide so gf doens't have to go to the wedding
[13:21] Fraternity Brother #1: nope, i made it myself. i cant trust her making my lunch
[13:22] Runner of Blog: hahaha why
[13:22] Fraternity Brother #1: 1. I'm an independent 2. She wouldnt give it the attention it deserves
[13:24] Runner of Blog: probably just throw raw chicken on one piece of bread adn tell you to fucking deal
[13:25] Fraternity Brother #1: exactly, or arrange deli meat flat, so it looks like i have a thin sandwich I dont want a thin sandwich
[13:25] Runner of Blog: cut u off from goodness so you could lose weight when really its her own self image that is the problem
[13:27] Fraternity Brother #1: not even trying to get me to loose weight. but its since she'd not want to make my lunch she'd just throw the meat on the bread. i like to fold the meat as it's placed, gives it some build. i like my sandwiches like i like my men, gurthy
[13:28] Runner of Blog: is that why we are friends
[13:29] Fraternity Brother #1: the only reason
[13:29] Runner of Blog: sweet

TIVO

2007-05-07T17:08:00.001-04:00

[16:39] ] Tall Blonde from Home: im trying to convince the hubby to get dvr at the new house
[17:02] Runner of Blog: NECESSARY
[17:03] ] Tall Blonde from Home: i need one
[17:03] ] Tall Blonde from Home: i feel like ive been missing out
[17:03] Runner of Blog: you are
[17:03] Runner of Blog: bottom line
[17:04] ] Tall Blonde from Home: does it make me less of a person or something?
[17:04] Runner of Blog: you know what it does
[17:04] Runner of Blog: commercial watching fag
[17:05] ] Tall Blonde from Home: damn....i knew you were oging to say that
[17:06] Runner of Blog: you knew i was going to call you a fag?
[17:06] Runner of Blog: wow
[17:06] ] Tall Blonde from Home: with that...i'm going home

Glass Selling Jew's First Post

2007-05-07T13:47:00.000-04:00

[13:33] Glass Selling Jew: if u put Runner of Blog's Older Brother in a wig that might b fine (Speaking of hitting on my family members)
[13:33] Glass Selling Jew: lol. that was a joke
[13:34] Runner of Blog: lol you felt the need to specify that it was a joke?
[13:35] Glass Selling Jew: yes
[13:35] Glass Selling Jew: bc he may really have a wig
[13:36] Runner of Blog: blond or black?
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: no clue
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: hes ur bro
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: u live in the same house
[13:38] Glass Selling Jew: im sure uve seen something
[13:39] Glass Selling Jew: maybe u woke up one night and heard the sound of high heels clacking on the floor, then when u looked down in the hallway u saw a pretty ugly husky woman with a 5 oclock shadow
[13:40] Glass Selling Jew: and man boobs instead of real ones
[13:40] Glass Selling Jew: its ok, u can tell me
[13:40] Glass Selling Jew: promis i wont tell anyone else or put u guys on the jerry springer show
[13:41] Runner of Blog: WOW
[13:41] Runner of Blog: only if everyone would chant JERRY JERRY JERRY
[13:42] Glass Selling Jew: im sure they would give u a warm reception

Please check out a friend

2007-05-03T11:30:00.000-04:00

Check out this video -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJd1yDNA3pI

Sing Billy Sing

2007-05-03T11:20:00.001-04:00

[10:52] Fraternity Brother #1: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/05/03/music.joel.reut/index.html
[10:54] Runner of Blog: put that drunk driving genius to work
[10:55] Fraternity Brother #1: thats what im saying. he needs to get back on the drink. he was on the drink for 20 years and wrote great tunes
[10:56] Runner of Blog: you know whose fault this MADD - freaking house wives that want to stop his creative juices
[10:56] Fraternity Brother #1: so what if he put is car into someones living room. he wrote piano man for christ sakes, he's allowed to
[10:56] Runner of Blog: they are just pissed because their husbands need these beverages to look at their fat inflated asses after 35 years of marriage
[10:57] Fraternity Brother #1: or its because of those beverages that their husbands use them as punching bags
[10:57] Runner of Blog: hahahah - wahhhhh wahhhhhhh he hits me
[10:57] Runner of Blog: well you know what
[10:58] Runner of Blog: he also provides a roof over your head
[10:58] Runner of Blog: since you can't obviously work because you are too damn annoying or just too stupid
[10:58] Runner of Blog: if it weren't for their abusive, drunk husbands they'd be turning tricks for shelter
[10:58] Fraternity Brother #1: its not my fault your a codependent who keeps taking him back
[10:59] Fraternity Brother #1: ha ha spousal abuse
[10:59] Runner of Blog: its a rough topic, but there is more than one side to any controversial subject
[10:59] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah, i always like to explore the other side - that sounded kinda gay
[10:59] Runner of Blog: yup - yes it did
[11:00] Runner of Blog: gays and spousal abuse we are cultured
[11:01] Fraternity Brother #1: culture is for the gays

Do not buy cufflings

2007-05-02T17:22:00.000-04:00

[17:10] Fraternity Brother #1: woman asked me one time, if i would like cufflings as a gift. i told her id swallow them and then shit them onto the floor
[17:11] Runner of Blog: they aren't horrible bro
[17:11] Fraternity Brother #1: as a gift they are...we were just in the store and she asked it as a passing question
[17:15] Runner of Blog: bet she already had them and then cried herself to sleep
[17:15] Fraternity Brother #1: i hope so, with a shitty gift like that she'd deserve a tear stained pillow

The depth of Fraternity Brother #1's humor

2007-05-02T16:57:00.000-04:00

[16:48] Fraternity Brother #1: the old Runner of Blog woulda laughed. but now that you've been to the nursing home and have seen the side effects of careless drug abuse and care free sex, and now you have a sensitive side to it (He is referring to me not finding funny his comment about AIDs patients using an onion ring as a belt)
[16:49] Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHAHA
[16:49] Runner of Blog: well when you speak of onion ring belts
[16:49] Runner of Blog: tugs at the heart strings a bit
[16:51] Fraternity Brother #1: hahahaha. im sure that if you were there for half hour, that within that half hour the patients probably lost 1,000lbs combined
[16:52] Runner of Blog: i am crying at work lol
[16:56] Fraternity Brother #1: look what i had to resort to
[16:56] Fraternity Brother #1: you think i feel good about myself?
[16:57] Runner of Blog: i do thats the sad part
[16:57] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah, i do feel good, thats the sadder part

How to get rid of your anniversary

2007-05-02T16:46:00.000-04:00

[16:23] Fraternity Brother Number #1: today woulda been 5 years for the woman and i. im glad she dumped my ass cause it got me out of giving a gift
[16:25] Runner of Blog: HAHAHAHAHAH
[16:25] Runner of Blog: you don't count the off time? (Note that Fraternity Brother Number #1's gf dumped him to take time to find her hippie self and not live with him)
[16:25] Fraternity Brother Number #1: hell no, it was nearly a year of off time
[16:26] Runner of Blog: so when is your anniv
[16:26] Runner of Blog: or did she lose that in the off time
[16:26] Fraternity Brother Number #1: its gone!
[16:27] Fraternity Brother Number #1: ill get her flowers today with a card saying, "happy what woulda been 5 years if ya didn't dump me'
[16:28] Runner of Blog: WOW
[16:28] Runner of Blog: you lost an anniversary
[16:29] Fraternity Brother Number #1: it was nice actually. cause 5 years i woulda had to do something a little bigger for, not anymore friend
[16:29] Runner of Blog: genius
[16:29] Fraternity Brother Number #1: in my eyes we've only been together 4 years and 2 months
[16:31] Fraternity Brother Number #1: maybe im in the wrong, who knows
[16:31] Runner of Blog: nah dude, you aren't
[16:32] Fraternity Brother Number #1: glad ya got me on this one
[16:34] Runner of Blog: absolutely
[16:34] Runner of Blog: if she didn't destroy 10 months of your life she could have a gift
[16:35] Fraternity Brother Number #1: exactly, i may get a card and write in it, 'sorry the money i woulda spent on a gift, i spent in 10 months of alcohol drowning my sorrows'
[16:36] Runner of Blog: or hookers for the weekend after you put my heart in a meat grinder
[16:36] Fraternity Brother Number #1: hahahahahahahahaha how tough would we be if we actually did the things we spoke of?
[16:38] Runner of Blog: we would be so bad ass
[16:38] Runner of Blog: but yet were are here
[16:38] Runner of Blog: we are here online talking shit

I have a deity friend!

2007-05-01T17:47:00.001-04:00

[17:18] Runner of Blog : you cold yet (note that Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me was getting AC in his new house)
[17:19] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: FUCK OFF SPONGEBOB
[17:20] Runner of Blog: is that how you treat people who show an interest in your life
[17:21] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: only the ones that live under the sea in a pineapple
[17:22] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: almost done
[17:22] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: thank heavens
[17:24] Runner of Blog: thats great and then you will have control of the temperature, similar to God
[17:25] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: very true i am in fact the deity of this house
[17:27] Runner of Blog: "deity of this house" Cause i am positive it was your idea to paint a room red
[17:27] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: bro..its actually my favorita room of the house as far as color goes
[17:28] Runner of Blog: i Like it myself, all i said was that it wasn't your idea and that a deity would have all ideas
[17:28] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: we deities pass our brilliance to lesser minds
[17:29] Runner of Blog: hahahaha, is it sort of a muse situation or you give her the idea directly and it makes her say it
[17:31] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: telepathy
[17:31] Runner of Blog: amazing
[17:31] Runner of Blog: so everything within the home - is your idea and you just let a lesser mind take credit
[17:32] Runner of Blog: that is a VERY generous deity
[17:33] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: thats how we deities do
[17:33] Runner of Blog: i don't see vishnu doing anything like this
[17:33] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: always looking out for the little people
[17:33] Runner of Blog: but you don't have 6 arms
[17:33] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: Vishnu's a hack poor hindus are still showering in the ganges for gods sake
[17:34] Runner of Blog: but it has 6 arms, and thats pretty impressive
[17:35] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: doesnt have 6 johnsons though, imagine that?
[17:36] Runner of Blog: WOW
[17:36] Runner of Blog: or 6 balls
[17:36] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: imagine howw many deity hoes he could get
[17:36] Runner of Blog he could paint the walls not your red wall but other walls

Attempting to Understand Women

2007-04-27T11:53:00.001-04:00

11:42] THE Fiance: A study conducted by marital researcher Dr. John Gottman found that men who do more housework have better sex lives than those who don't. The theory is that a helpful husband makes his wife feel more respected, and, in turn, makes her more likely to give back to her mate. Tell him that, and he'll never look at a feather duster the same way again.
[11:45] Runner of Blog: interesting but maybe, and just maybe, it is the housework that causes the headaches women rely on to deny sex, and as such, men won't be in the mood
[11:45] THE Fiance: thats not what the study says
[11:48] Runner of Blog: hmmm i need the citations used
[11:48] Runner of Blog: sample size
[11:48] Runner of Blog: presumptions made
[11:49] Runner of Blog : 3 years of law school will come in handy to break down this garbage study put forward by upset housewives that have no job except to keep the house clean and want help cause its too hard

Joys of Medical Profession

2007-04-27T11:51:00.001-04:00

[11:30] Runner of Blog: what up doctor
[11:30] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: work work and more work
[11:30] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: and some more
[11:30] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: hows it going
[11:30] Runner of Blog: not too bad
[11:30] Runner of Blog: and wahhhhh wahhhhhhh
[11:32] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: did i tell u how lovely my weekend was
[11:32] Runner of Blog: nope!
[11:32] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: lets put it this way i have completely suppressed it mentally and emotionally
[11:32] Runner of Blog: does it involve alcohol, a few midgets, and drugs
[11:32] Runner of Blog: what happened
[11:32] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: i had to do a complete vaginal exam on a big fat black woman
[11:33] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: on sunday
[11:33] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: holding back the puke
[11:33] Runner of Blog: THAT SUCKS WOW
[11:33]Wanna be Doctor Next Door: was not an easy task
[11:33] Runner of Blog: did you have to slap her thigh and ride in the wave
[11:33] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: ya
[11:33] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: disgusting
[11:33] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: man
[11:33] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: just disgusting
[11:33] Runner of Blog: it sounds horrible
[11:34] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: putting the speculum in and looking inside was bad, but than lubing up the fingers and putting them in and moving around
[11:34] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: it was just awful RUNNER OF BLOG
[11:34] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: awful
[11:34] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: i thought feeling the guys nads that day was going to be the worst part
[11:34]Wanna be Doctor Next Door: lets put it this way tha twas the best part
[11:35] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: so yea my sunday was just lovely
[11:35] Runner of Blog: i am so naseaus
[11:35] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: if i had to DO IT, than u have to HEAR about it
[11:35] Runner of Blog: i really do feel sick - the speculum thing makes me naseaus
[11:36] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: there was one part
[11:36] Runner of Blog: no hottie coming in huh even then i wouldnt' want to see that
[11:37] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: where im not supposed to wear a glove but touching her pubic hair made me so nautious that i quickly tryed to sneak on another glove until she caught me and say oh no, shes like only one glove on the dominant hand take the other off
[11:37] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: i was like oh god please have mercy
[11:37] Runner of Blog: was she your prof
[11:38] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: she was a model/teacher and i dont mean model like you and I use the term but honestly even on a hot girl, this would still be nasty man
[11:39] Runner of Blog: I am so sick and i just have to listen
[11:41]Wanna be Doctor Next Door: Runner of Blog, the worst part is
[11:41] Wanna be Doctor Next Door: i pay for this and pay alot

2007-04-27T10:58:00.001-04:00

[10:57] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: ILL KILL YOU
[10:57] Runner of Blog: You would not be able to you are weak
[10:57] Weird friend that only signs online to make fun of me: while you sleep
[10:57] Meebo Message: Weird Friend that only signs online to make fun of me is offline

Please note that this conversation took place within 1 min.

2007-04-27T09:57:00.001-04:00

09:27] Tall Blonde from Home: believe me...he doesnt get any, we live in his parents house
[09:29] Runner of Blog: boo
[09:29] Runner of Blog: don't take it to extremes
[09:31] Tall Blonde from Home: you try it, its terrible
[09:33] Runner of Blog: makes it fun! have to sneak a little lol
[09:33] Tall Blonde from Home: he's got 22 days, he can hold out
[09:33] Runner of Blog: F U I am standing up for the poor guy I am protesting
[09:34] Tall Blonde from Home: hahahhaha
[09:34] erogdakis: 3 freaking weeks that is ridiculous
[09:34] Tall Blonde from Home: he would appreciate that
[09:34] Runner of Blog: the trade off for being married and long term relationship is sex often
[09:35] Tall Blonde from Home: thats fine...when his parents dont live down the hall i'm all for that
[09:35] Tall Blonde from Home: its not like i'm withholding it all the time
[09:35] Tall Blonde from Home: i just refuse to do it if someones in the house
[09:35] Tall Blonde from Home: its like sacraligous
[09:35] Runner of Blog: you should atleast fold up your knee or something give the guy some friction
[09:36] Tall Blonde from Home: hahhahahahha
[09:36] Runner of Blog: 22 days is bullshit poor dude
[09:37] Tall Blonde from Home: its not like its gonna fall off
[09:37] Runner of Blog: nah Thats EXACTLY what will happen i.e. if you don't use it, you lose it
[09:37] Tall Blonde from Home: hahah...educated from the 40 year old virgin?
[09:39] Runner of Blog: nah i caught the guy trying to run away during a drier period in my younger days and from that point on i realized i had to have sex
[09:39] Runner of Blog: OR ELSE
[09:39] Tall Blonde from Home: wow...so i'd really like to know the medical terminology on this one
[09:40] Runner of Blog: penialogy
[09:40] Tall Blonde from Home: use-it--or-lose-it-itis?
[09:40] Runner of Blog: penialogy is the study of this phenomenon and the correct medical term is ballessgayitis
[09:41] Tall Blonde from Home: and whats the transverse on that one? what if the dude's holding out?
[09:41] Runner of Blog: then the brain makes certain chemicals which determines that it is the man's decision and he is still in charge
[09:41] Runner of Blog: that hormone is known as testosterone .
[09:43] Tall Blonde from Home: so can this "hold out" be deemed as mental abuse?
[09:43] Tall Blonde from Home: since i am screwing with his head...
[09:43] Runner of Blog: .in new york the term is constructive abandonment (this part is for real) and appreantly you aren't screwing anything
[09:48] Tall Blonde from Home: damn you lawyers
[09:49] Runner of Blog: lol
[09:49] Runner of Blog: if the husband needs representation give him my number
[09:49] Runner of Blog: for no sex - i'll represent him pro bono
[09:50] Tall Blonde from Home: wait...hold up...who's friend were you first?
[09:50] Runner of Blog: friend first? My first friend is to sex
[09:51] Tall Blonde from Home: wow....now i see where your loyalty lies
[09:51] Runner of Blog: now? I don't think you could have been more aware that my loyalty lies with sex
[09:53] Tall Blonde from Home: actually....yes....but still kinda shocked that semen is thicker than blood
[09:53] Runner of Blog: but we aren't related by blood?
[09:53] Tall Blonde from Home: so to speak....not like we're related...but friends dont share any liquids
[09:53] Tall Blonde from Home: its all i could come up with on the fly
[09:53] Runner of Blog: come on you are better than that

Fiance Loves me

2007-04-26T17:27:00.001-04:00

[11:54] Runner of Blog: i didn't go to the gym once this week
[11:54] THE Fiance: thats ok
[11:54] THE Fiance: you've been busy
[11:55] Runner of Blog's: hmmmm much better response than you fat disaster, I like it
[11:55] THE Fiance:

Fraternity Brother #1 has problems

2007-04-26T11:08:00.001-04:00

[09:59] Runner of Blog: just found out one of the weddings i had this summer is off
[10:00] Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahaha why?
[10:01] Runner of Blog: its gf's cousin
[10:01] Fraternity Brother #1: whys it off?
[10:01] Runner of Blog: don't have the whole story, but it seems like they had a couple brawls and the last one was she was trying to control him and his hobby
[10:02] Fraternity Brother #1: oh i hope it involves a man of color and block of cheese
[10:02] Fraternity Brother #1: what was his hobby? beating her?
[10:02] Runner of Blog: WOW, no bike riding
[10:04] Fraternity Brother #1: nah went right for the beating
[10:04] Fraternity Brother #1: but what was his hobby?
[10:04] Runner of Blog: i said bike riding,but he did those like all day 40 mile things
[10:05] Fraternity Brother #1: hmmmmmmm, dont know if i like the guy or respect the guy. on one hand he chose a bike over a woman, which is cool if youre gonna win the tour de france and bang chicks because of it. but on the other hand i respect him, cause he had enough nagging and he walked
[10:06] Runner of Blog: good logic - he knew he didn't want to listen to that for the rest of his life, better than a divorce in 3 years with a kid
[10:07] Fraternity Brother #1: yeah, so in the end i think i respect him. on the one hand (Runner of Blog'sFIANCE) cousin has to feel like shit that schwin is more important to him
[10:08] Runner of Blog: nope the guy was gf's cousin. In reality i am sure this guy was being beaten over and over and this was the final straw before the big I DO
[10:09] Fraternity Brother #1: hands down thats the case. im sure she nagged him about bigger things, but it was the bike that put it over the top
[10:10] Fraternity Brother #1: what does he do for work that he has time to bike 40 miles a day. i barely have time for an hour workout at this dude is biking all day?

[10:11] Fraternity Brother #1: is he a HS principal so on weekend, during the day
he'll be gone for long periods of time
[10:12] Fraternity Brother #1: he's banging another dame
[10:12] Runner of Blog: hahaha
[10:12] Runner of Blog: possible, but unlikely
[10:12] Runner of Blog: they seemed happy
[10:12] Fraternity Brother #1: a student!
[10:12] Runner of Blog: you are insane
[10:13] Fraternity Brother #1: he's not riding bikes, hes riding students
[10:16] Runner of Blog: only if they are 17 years old or older
[10:17] Fraternity Brother #1: no thats whats known as a fun killer
[10:18] Runner of Blog: the 17 year old thing
[10:18] Fraternity Brother #1: yes

Post that started it

2007-04-25T15:37:00.001-04:00

[15:15] Fraternity Brother #1: woman is ticked at me that i wont go to one of her running races this weekend to cheer her on
[15:17] Runner of Blog:THEN TELL HER SHE SHOULD COME TO THE UNION OF TWO SOULS (note fraternity brother #1 gf does not want to go to a wedding he is in the wedding party)
[15:19] Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahahahahahaha, i told her to do a sport that i can watch her continously doing, instead of me waiting around a finish line for 2 hours hoping to see her as she crosses
[15:20] Runner of blog: thats why you pick up a hot chick who is waiting for her idiotic partner to run to a finish line for some meaningless personal reason
[15:21] Fraternity Brother #1: i dont understand road races. she forked over $40 to run in this thing, when in reality she coulda just ran around the block a couple of times for free
[15:21] Runner of blog: and then u could have waited for 2 hours to finish watching porn and come out and greet her and tell her congrats
[15:22] Fraternity Brother #1: exactly, every sport this woman has ever done has involved me sitting around for hours and only have seconds of payoff
[15:23] Runner of blog: she doesn't to see if you will actually do it
[15:23] Runner of blog: you know she laughs it up with all her friends and shit
[15:23] Runner of blog: "that fucking ass face sat around for 2 hours while i boned out in the woods, and then he cheered me on when i got back with man juice running down my leg"
[15:24] Runner of blog: ooo that was angry
[15:24] Fraternity Brother #1: good thing ive bee nstrong
[15:24] Fraternity Brother #1: hahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha
[15:25] Fraternity Brother #1: the man juice running down the leg, sealed that joke